Nurhidayah Rahmat

2010

2010-09-26T13:07:00.015+08:00

My first new post in a long long time. Things happens for a reason, and even if there's no reason- it still happens anyway. For the better or worse, only god knows.

Hareez says love is like the first sip of alcohol he ever took. That's him, not me.\

For me, love is a button of error that will lead to many misfortunes. Ok, cancel that.

For me, love is love. Love is something everyone craves.

And something that, once gotten, is sometimes hard to hold on to-- sometimes it cracks and shatters, but it never truly leaves you.

xdahdjahdjndsicnmldiao

Hareez agrees completely. Haha. Okayyyy, so here we are sitting under palm trees at the beach, sometimes arguing about the tiniest things. Like crabsticks and big big thighs *wink wink. The weather's great, extra windy today. Its lucky this guy over here brought hammock. \m/ And for food, we just had mee hoon sambal goreng. With mexican turkish pie and toasted ham with peanut butter jelly sandwiches!

Credits goes to him though, jackass! sadhsfdzncxh

Ok bye~

Hello, cherie :)

2010-02-24T20:26:00.015+08:00

Gaga over books? Totally.

Chocolate caramel is a sticky favourite. Milk makes me drunk. While money, gets me all silly inside. Pfft. Ive been on the comp since an hour ago, and I find every single thing dull. Everyone has been either urging me to update this dusty blog, or upload pictures on facebook- but I like really cannot be bothered. Haha. Sorry fafa, pictures lain kali eh. Malas nak login fb. I realised I haven't blog since like forever. Last year to be exact. I got my o's results. Things happened. Things changed. I got myself a camera. I took many beautiful pictures, giggling over them in busses and in the train. I go shopping here, there, everywhere- earning myself endless naggings from my mum. But they were like music to my ears :p

Just this afternoon, I met Asha after work at Bukit Timah Salvation Army. Guess what I bought? Yessss! Thick thick novels that costs around one two three bucks. Hey! They are soo worth it okay. Haha. I love those romantic junk, they are so lovely baby :D and and there were so many kuno stuff, pretty high heeled shoes, amazing paintings, and unique vases and flower pots. I also bought two tiny boxes, with cute little intricate designs. I think they are from thailand! Haha. & just like thaaaat, I got myself souveniers at just a dollar. Yay!

Okay okay, & since Im blogging now- must rewind back to two days ago! It was little Nurul birthday- kind of a hectic day with lost pictures (afterwards retrieved! phew.) & sweaty armpits. Everything was last minute. The buying of pressies, the making of an enormous huge huge birthday board for her. Basically every single thing. But Zee & I managed to finish it all, after six hours of hard toiling :p kinda so proud of our work ah. I love it! I will post pictures up soon, this I promise you. Blogger uploading machine takes such a very very long time, idk why lor. Pfft. Sucky. Anyways, I want to start turning pages on my new novel. ok, byeee.

Kiss you on the lips :p

Time, putting it to good use.

2009-11-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

So perhaps my holiday break wouldn't be so dull after all :) Casting O levels aside, I am very relieved to have it over and done with. Most importantly, I know I have given it my all, so whatever comes next is another page that is yet to be turned. So, days after when all the revision and textbooks have been put away, I spent the free time with my dearest sister. Catching movies and staking out at different fast food stores was incredibly great. Of course, our cash stock went dry before the next outings and so we had to make do with home-stay programmes :) went job hunting too with the guy & the another guy. I was the rose among the two thorns, but I did had an enjoyable time all the same with Rasheed & Anwar.

Then badabing badaboom, I got a job with a constant daily pay. Fast forward. A week. An finally, an off day, which is today :) my boss said: "Go out enjoy, have fun tomorrow." He's really kind, buying me snacks all the time. Kind of sweet too, with his non stop chatters and over flowing stories. I like it there :) made many new friends too and the tourists who dropby were difficult at times. There were some who doesnt even speak english at all, and I was left to endure extensive long conversations with them in which I have no clue as to what is being said. All in all, there were quite a few embarassing moments, and I lost my favourite other half earing on the way home. So I wasn't aware that I was wearing only half a earring all the way until I started noticing that people were looking at me weird, and so I checked. Its my favourite pair. Agh. Anyways, these off days are totally rare and therefore I have dozens of plan lists created for the many where-to-gos and the what-to-dos. With my partner in crime of course, the fancy Mr Thick Eyebrows :p So many things to do, so little time. But we always do make the best of what we got, and that's what I really love about him. So not fussy, at good times only. Good times :)

An update :)

2009-10-30T10:22:00.010+08:00

Belated Birthday Breakfast. Kind of. Haha.

I miss you, girl.

So far, O levels was alright. Paper up next is Social Studies & Chemistry. And art, dull.

Went study with Karthi & Rasheed yesterday :) Had super fun after Karthi left. Haha. Best to the max :)

Pink Ipod Nano :)

2009-10-28T09:54:00.003+08:00

My 16GB Ipod Pink Nano. 17th Birthday present! From family!

I love it so much. Haha. Im so jakun :)

Girlfriends :)

2009-09-17T14:54:00.005+08:00

P.School best mates :)

I miss you guys, many many.

Today's thursday, & time is moving too fast to my liking. But time stops for no one, you just have to make the best of what you got. My art coursework is coming along fine, I think. Submission date is next tuesday, & that is on the twenty second. My canvas left abiiiiiiiit more to paint paint, then I will be done. Can chuck that thing aside, dont have to look at it anymore, forever. I think Ill try to complete half my boards my today, then revision then back to bed. Yay :)

Today was the ultimate science exam ( multiple choice only lah ), its easy but I think I did it really badly. If I pass, I give everyone ten dollars :p Anyhows, my art paper the day before was like chicken pie, I paint here paint there, then I alas finish last. Nadhirah says my painting cute.. Cute? :S I was aiming for something more professional wise, you know :p

Ok ok, I dont know why, but Im in a very good mood today. Maybe its the shade, maybe its the swaying trees outside my window? Who cares, as long as im happy right? :D & yes, I miss my sayang alot :)

I want an Ipod! :)

2009-09-14T19:55:00.005+08:00

Once the money is enough, Im getting either an Ipod Nano or a Ipod touch.

I think most prolly a lovely green Ipod Nano :)

Im screwed ok? Because, because, because, I haven't even started on my art prep work.

Hello :)

2009-09-13T20:23:00.010+08:00

Keep life beautiful :)

Its been a long time since I blog blog, there's so much to write about. So many wonderful occasions and events happened, so many that over time it all tends to be forgotten & what's left of them are just amazing pictures stored up in my best best thumbdrive. Wanted to post them all up, but its kind of a waste of time, maybe next entry? Hehee, you guys can get a glimpse of what Ive been up to this past few months :) I miss everyone, miss my Asha & my Fafa :)

Today marks the end of the September holidays, the end of late morning nights & the long hours of comfort in bed. Spent these past few days helping with the spring cleaning, the cookie bakings, & the hanging of curtains. I barely prepare for my last few prelim papers that are coming up in the upcoming few days. Im left with Literature paper two & Art. I think im going to flunk everything, I have no confident at all, Im starting to have doubts. Like my resitting of Olevel Malay at the end of the year, is it going to make a difference? Yargh, I should have just been happy with my lovely B3, B3, B3 :)

You have a shield that is quite impossible to get through.

But when you smile, the shield melts like winter cold in the dawn of spring.

When you are happy, no one can be otherwise. It’s contagious.

When you smile, I forget all my worries. Because, for a moment, I am safe.

I am right where I want to be.

Emptiness.

2009-07-19T17:30:00.016+08:00

The week was just like any other week- with just a few exceptions. Mum week off from work, delicious hot dishes awaiting me everytime I get home late from school & most memorably Marco birthday bash :) everything is coming along smoothly, even with art where I had already started painting my canvas. Yesterday was spent at jb with family, watch harry potter movie & its great. Did quite a few shopping and hours later we were on our way home with sore feets :) I think I have decided on what to wear next tuesday too, looks pretty fine. Probably many will turn up wearing ethnic costumes, but it sure wouldnt be like last year :)

I feel different. I don't know why.

Emptiness resides still, happiness fades.

It all comes back to you.

2009-07-12T17:45:00.009+08:00

I just want you to know that I miss you. I need you.

But sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.

Spent the day at home yesterday. Was so tired, slept three times altogether. Watch movies, spring cleaning, hunt for remaining makeup items under my parents bed. Nothing much. I am currently the proud owner of dozens beautiful lipglosses & miniature perfumes :) I got two new shirts and four boxers. Books were left untouched. I wished I had all the energy in the world, I wished I had spent the day with bobby. It would have been fun, like always.

There's nothing interesting about today, everything is sucky. My smile is sucky, my phone is sucky. There are no messages at all, although I had quite expected it from the second I opened my eyes & greet sunshine. Last night was terrible. No use dwelling on it any longer. Helped my mum do her cookies awhile ago. Clean my room for the second time today. & Im waiting for the arrival of Aunty Julieeeeee. New clothes, please lift my spirits.

Not looking forward to school tomorrow, sucky.

Do you know I like pink, well hot pink. I like hot pink mixed with green. So beautiful. I want this pretty Motorola thingy. Dear god, please lemme have it. Please please please. I don't want to wait nine more years :(

Let me tell you something. Let us reveal something.
I'm trying to be as honest as I can be.
But sometimes I don't want it to be because.

What you say would change nothing.

And you would have guessed, in the end it all comes back to you.

Profile, blogskin updated.

2009-07-10T21:10:00.007+08:00

"Allah is the Greatest. I'm just the greatest boxer." - Muhammad Ali

His book on The Soul Of A Butterfly is truly inspiring, & if Rasheed never did borrow this wonderful book for me, I would not have known such a man with a beautiful heart. The book is nothing short of fantastic. It takes you on a journey through the remarkable learnings of this great man and moves you to tears at some points. This book is as close to heart as it gets. I was touched by his honesty and simple logic to life. It will show you a man who is a giant. A giant with the soul of a butterfly.

-----

Weekend, finally. School was the usual test & dozens of revisions. Art is coming along just fine, sad thing is I have not yet started on my canvas painting. My class partners are noisy, my math class partners is one sometimes noisy and the other best as conversations flows easily. I likeeee :) everything is alright though there are always problems & setbacks. I found out something really shocking today, nadhirah broke the news. I had expected this right from the start. But I had never expect it to hurt still.

I love my girlfriends ( Marco included )

I miss my nachs.

After, Genting Updates :)

2009-07-04T12:22:00.018+08:00

Brace yourself for impact.

Hello people, I have been lazy to log in for updates since I arrived home last last Wednesday :) the holiday to genting was beyond everything I had expected. It was wonderful, scary, exciting and damn friggin cold. The theme parks, the constant fogs and the beautiful singaporeans there were something uncommon, it was amazing. But playing continously & neglecting sleep caused my brain a serious brain freeze, came down with a fever the second night. At a tempt of 17 degrees and below for three consecutive days, who wouldn't desperately want back the Singapore humidity? Delicious sets of chicken rice, heavy sweaters, shopping sprees, terrific bowling-strike games & people with red noses- its something to remember.

Back to school & it feels like a great escape from home again. Our timetables had all been edited & in return we got classes that ends at 4.30 every single day. Wow, terribly not nice! But then there's always a plus point to negative sides, kan kan? Haha. I love my girlfriends lotsa. I love my boy-friend even more. Sometimes, its the sweet little things that you will remember at the end of the day :)

Goodbye :)

2009-06-20T12:15:00.002+08:00

Goodbye readers :)

Genting

20th June -23rd June

Before going off to genting :)

2009-06-18T22:37:00.009+08:00

Hello blogspot & readers, it has already been a few hours of high concentration via eye screen. Send Nadhirah art documents in the afternoon & now she is helping me download songs, which is one super list long. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it Nadir :) Now I guess I wont suffer the long bus ride to Genting this weekend, hoorah! I haven't packed a single thing yet though I have made a rather long list (if you havent noticed, im super with lists. Hehe!) I think tomorrow is a rush rush off to go buy last minute materials, I have to buy batteries! & I have to take the special shirt, must take must take if not I can die :s

My past few days were pretty amazing, spent again with sister, girlfriends & my Rasheed :) On Saturday, I begged off from going to a footballer jemputan but then in the end, mummy did get her way & she dragged me along with Nurul to just go makan nasi minyak. So with her sour heart I went, but everything changes when I get to take picture with Baihaki. Hoohoo! Sunday was a day with my girlfriends; Shasha, Mizah & Fatin :) We attended the Singapore Arts Festival 2009 Closing (Crackers) @ Yishun Open Field. We get to witness amazing fireworks display, different colours & variations. Its so beautiful, mizah & I ooh ahh & squeals everytime it lights up the sky. It was a memorable night altogether, lovely pictures are in Fatin hands :)

I forgot what I did on Monday, seriously. Tuesday, went for Marco Barbeque. Before that, went cck with Mizah as she want teman me do my new ez-link. Bought food then proceded to meet nadhirah at bukit batok. Bought food again, took a bus & met Shasha. So the barbeque was pretty much alright, fun fun, once in awhile of class get-together times. I got back around ten plus, then talked on the phone with sayang till I dont know what time.

Wednesday was spent with Rasheed :) Started off with silent messages & complicated plans when we both realised that the outing we planned a week ago had clashed with his 2n2 class gathering that was to be held at Sentosa. It was sekali sekale so I told him to go go go as he had missed Marco barbeque the day before and it will be a waste if he didnt go for this class gathering. I was going to be busy the next few days & he knows that another outing wont come around soon. After thinking about it quite thoroughly, he made the decision that banished away all my hidden dissapointment, it was quite a nice feeling actually. Getting to spend quality time with him one last time before I go off radar :) He is going back kampung this Saturday juga, so he say the only way we are going to communicate is to connect through the dream world. Haha, thats my sayang :p Im going to miss everyone, im already missing him pretty bad. Bringing his busuk shirt to Genting, going sunggle snuggle with it during the cold nights. Smelly bodoh, i likeee!

Update on an amazing week :)

2009-06-12T22:42:00.008+08:00

This is an update on the amazing week I had with my bunch of girlfriends :)

This whole week is schelduled for art lessons, and we have to report to school every single day at 9am. But then not everyone reports at the stated timing, we take our own sweeeet time. Cikgu also dont care ape. So so so, Monday was a great day to start off the week. A little baby bird wanders into our artroom and send everyone whipping out their cameras & going into fits of ooh ohh ahh ahh. It becomes famous for awhile until it died, less than an hour later. We believed the cause of the death to be, Marco. He push the little bird over the edge, possibly making its tweeny neck to break in the process. Thats for Marco & his obsession with birds. That afternoon after art, teman fatin ate her favourite mee bakso at makan shiok then we all went seperate ways with me tagging along to nadhirah house with mizah. Oh boy, it was superb, just gantung diri in her pink cosy room and her father frying dozens of french fries, nuggets and otahs. I so liking! Mizah slept while I makeover nadir room and transform it into beautiful beautiful. Haha, cheh. I really really had a great time, I get to see the other sides of these two girls, and learnt alot of unexpected things. Haha!

Tuesday was another great day, I get to go swimming manz! Hoorah, it was such a relieved to finally get to feel the cool cool chlorine water on my skin. Nadir followed me home to take her sexy one piece swimming costume then we took a straight bus to mizah home. Climbing the hill was such a chore but then air con bliss as soon as we reached was well worth it :) Spring cleaning mizah room but we couldnt do much as she was sharing with her sister, so her sister things were in the way, you know you know. Fatin was supposed to come, but then she couldnt make it at the last minute as she had to go for brother performance. (saw the video, cool siul) The swim was terribly best, we laughed a whole lot followed by equal amount of choking too. The pictures we took are many to the max, and err some censored okay! I know lah tak payah nak bilang, but cant help it. Haha. Hospitality wise was greeeeat cause mizah serves good food. Well, the brother in law serves lah, hahaha! Sedap sedap, finger licking good. Nadir & I tambah many many :)

Wednesday was another day spend with them. & on that day juga, I get my much awaited more-than-a-peck on the lips . But what I find out later irks me livid.

Thursday, I go home early merly! Had to do researches, but I didnt start till just after magrib. But then I found out that I left my thumbdrive in my file at school. Throw tantrum at everyone but then thought of how childish it was. In the end slept very late, managed to finish eight pieces of paper documents which was a big accomplishment & then had to go online to send them to mizah for printing. Thanks a whole lot okay, for not minding when I waste a whole lot of your inks :)

Today, I had the momentum to art, just kept doing and doing until it was time to go off. Another wonderful day spend at nadhirah house, this time with fatin tagging along. Got free spaghetti & macroni with its paste for free from the westen stall & we ate it all as lunch in nadir room. Mizah spend half an hour in the tandas. Haha, for a kats, she does have a big tummy eh. So we all slept like sardines in her room, fatin conquer the katil & the three of us on tilam. Nurun came at two then mulalah the fun fun time. I had lots of fun altogether just getting to spend time with they all, getting double seconds for food helpings and getting stuff for freeeeeeeee. Hahaha, we rummaged through nadir boxes under her bed. Banyak sei harta karun dier, oh my my. Get many stationeries, I got jeans! Hoorah, happy siol. After many laughing, joking, storytellings baru like realise it was just after magrib. It was raining when I left for home, reached bawah blok at half past eight. & amazingly, I got the shock of my life when rasheed appeared after two phonecalls. Wow, sometimes life is truly unexpected.

Something to look forward to in days to come; Jogging & Marco Bbq. Yepeee!

Bras Basah With Rasheed :)

2009-06-07T21:24:00.008+08:00

Life is like a carousel, so enjoy the ride.

Shoes, Flip Flops, Accesories, Jeans, T-Shirts, Belts, Straightener, Curling Iron & headphones.

Bought it all at a sale yesterday, where I either get some items for free or get it for a price worth your fillet burger. Sometimes, Im really lucky to have such wonderful parents. Thank you!

Watch, Hannah Montana The Movie, on Friday with sister. She was amazingly grinning from ear to ear before & after the show. Off the record, the movie is wonderful, tinged with hilarious & touching scenes that makes you wriggle around in your seat in anticipation for more. Nurul kept squeezing my hand throughout & we did squealed out loud together whenever the fat man ends up in a horrible situation. Really had so much fun during the two hours, she is such a freakishly good movie partner :) Was unexpectedly seated next to Ying Qi & her friend, it shows how small the world is, really :)

Bras Basah with Rasheed today, overall he made my day with his interesting stories and never ending laughters. That smile is the sugar coating, the bus rides were terrific. Thanks for the lovely company, even though you didn't get anything for yourself at the end of the day. Especially the rare C. One fine day, we will go again kay kay :)

Car Boot Sale

2009-06-06T21:17:00.001+08:00

Shopping, Shopping & More Shopping.

Garage Sale!

Olevel Malay

2009-06-03T19:19:00.021+08:00

Many things had happened during the past several days, and I have to write it all down before my limited memory space wipes them all away. Two days ago, I sat for my first official O's malay paper with one hell of a queasy stomach. I started off writing the wrong address and destroying my pencil. I didnt get to signed off my letter but I did completed everything which is a definite accomplishment. Hoorah! Overall the paper was fine, I think I scored for my peribahasa section. Those hours of memorising little details on the train paid off in the end, & im glad this is one subject I can put behind. Atleast for now. Hours after the exam, had lunch with little sister at kfc. She bought me a necklace at Hallmark which I find sooo super sweet for her to do so. Thank you lah okay, gol :)

Yesterday was lunch at Burger King, browse around some shops with her again. Helped her choose a gift for her friend who is going home to Germany. I wanted to browse through the converse sale shoes at the ground floor but I was too, I don't know how to say this but I think the word is; shy? Haha, quite embarassing when I practically got dragged there by my little sister. Of all people :s Tuesday lessons were kind of a dull thing saved for literature & english. Oh & maths, just because. Sciences was boring, but then after minutes of the same familiar droning tone, got used to it all over again. Lessons today were fast, fast, fast :) Rasheed went off for rugby match, was quite dissapointed to know he would not be attending school :( wished him luck, and i think my luck very powerful as they won & make history for the second time, siols! Hahaha. Im very impressed :)

Just got back from watching a movie with the kids, Terminator Salvation is just pure gerek ah.

Hothousing Week :)

2009-05-31T14:04:00.007+08:00

Breathing malay the past six days made me realise the depth and importance of getting a distinction. This whole week had been a full drill of intensive revision, with incoming past years papers and bruised fingers. Staying up till after midnight to complete compositions, and then waking up again at six to face another paper day wasn't exactly how I had imagined the hothousing to be like. But there was fun in every single day, and sitting with my bunch of friends keeps me motivated. They kept me going when I 'dah malas nak buat' or when never-ending laughters took control. Somehow, I glimpsed the determination in them, and my will got stronger every moment. Its never too late, not when your heart is still willing to go forward. Hareez urged me on, and the parents teacher meeting on Friday had finally opened my eyes to reality. Its time for a change, its time for improvement. People says, in order to achieve something, you have to be willing to make sacrifices. Thinking back on what my mum had said, & all the different advices I had received, I realised how right they all were.

My Saturday was burning. It was in fact the most unexpected thing I had thought of spending my time on since Im only two days away to my Olevel malay paper. I was dragged to a day of utter-sweatiness at Escape Theme Park. Dragged by whom? By my mum who had a day ago told me the importance of studying. Quite weird, but her reason was that she wanted me to take a break. She had four free tickets and since Taufiq didn't tag along due to unifom group practice, mum invited cousin. I packed my peribahasa & frasa berbunga notes and set off, studying in the train and getting all my facts right. Hoohoo! It wasnt exactly a great day as I didn't play kiddie games that much, oh wait the rollercoaster was fun. It was zoooooom. Haha. Met Eqah there too, with her family, met some other familiar humans and mum made friends there too. You know how my mum click -.- Like this; CLICK. Was back after magrib and I studied again & again till *

Now im taking a break from my stack of revision notes, relaxing.

My thoughts wander off again. He plays, he scores.

Have You Ever

2009-05-22T20:48:00.003+08:00

Have you ever loved somebody so much

It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad

You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love

Been in love so bad

You'd do anything to make them understand

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away

You'd give anything to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say

And you don't know where to start

[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one

You've dreamed of all of your life

Just about anything to look into their eyes

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to

Only to find that one won't give their heart to you

Have you ever closed your eyes and

Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

[Chorus]

Susan Boyle Deleted,

2009-05-20T17:37:00.003+08:00

Hello, the previous post had been accidentally deleted due to some error function thing.

I couldn’t count the times you have been there for me, and I couldn’t count the times you have cared, but I couldn’t count the times my tears have been for you either. I couldn’t count the times you’ve made me smile, or the times you have made me laugh, but I couldn’t count the times you’ve made me wish I were so much more for you. So many tears have fallen in your name, so many poems with you in mind, so many wishes said for your well being and so many hearts with your name within. You have been my life, my world, my saviour even. I owed so much to you. But I’ve paid my debt in tears.

Wonders Of High Tea :)

2009-05-16T20:46:00.008+08:00

Parents left for Batam today, in the early morning hours. I didnt get a chance to say my goodbyes, pretty caught up snuggling with my spongebob in tangled bedsheets. Woke up around ten plus, and as it usually is im the only human who was still abed. The other breathing mumbo jumbos are either watching the television or playing mind games, oh with electronic devices of course. Boiled up the sardines and made sardines sandwiches for everyone not forgetting the ten cheese hotdogs. Then mummy friend came and he bought us three packets of chicken rice and we all had trouble finishing it as we were incredibly full. Watch a dozen of shows on the television, browse around on the internet and do some wardrobe-clearing. Wanted to order viva pizzas at one point, but we decided to make do with all the food galore in the refrigerator and the cabinets. Watch hindi movie afterwards on vasantham, the ghost spooked all of us pretty thoroughly, the pillow had dents in it after all the surprising ghost jumps appearances. After various complaints from those motor-mouths, i went to take a shower in the evening, the first ever shower i had in a day. The proper routines doesn't work one bit when the pops are gone.

The High Tea experience yesterday was definitely an exhilirating two hours. I had wondered what the fuss was all about until I sat there in the seat with a plate heaped with several mouth watering delicacies, and then did I actually went gaga. It was a memorable birthday celebration for the birthday girl and I would want a next time if possible :)

Before the High Tea :)

2009-05-15T13:16:00.004+08:00

Hello to bedsheets and slippery floors, colourful candles and half-filled bottles. Happy Birthday again to my little sister Nurul Asyiqin who turns twelve yesterday. She has two birthdays this year, why why? Because today is the day her celebration will be held, grand grand pula tu :)

High Tea Buffet at the Carousel Royal Plaza, yay yay yay!

Arguments ,

2009-05-10T13:23:00.010+08:00

Just like a giant spotlight.

Left right, always drowning in arguments. But patience is no doubt, a virtue. Its a sunday, & a highlighted day off the calender so to speak. Mother's Day, well everyday should be special day, but I guess it just means today is a special day than the rest. But however we celebrated it all yesterday, with Taufiq 11 May birthday as well. You can only guess where the celebrations are held, man :) Nurul 14 May is planned next weekend, where high tea buffet

is being spoken of many times. Imagining the different sorts & varieties food got me salivating to the max. Yessarh, otah otah I grab first!

Exams for mid-year are finishing, im left with three more papers which includes art. The bunch of papers before, I have no doubt of the results. Im through with taking it easy, im going to work my braincells off to the extreme. & yeah, im not just saying it. Anyhow I can't wait to catch movies with my bobby. Wolverine is the on the top of the list, well actually I dont have a list yet :) haha! & here are overdued pictures of the NPCC parade I went to with Naz, credits to her, of course :)

Corrupt people

2009-05-02T11:12:00.010+08:00

Forget Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Forget it all where feelings ran skin deep, where sunlight blinds you to beautiful colours of trees and laughters wrinkles your eyes. Where children walks pass barefooted, and the warmth touch of your palm burns my waist leaving a deep stinging imprint. I turned to you and my breath hitched, for your eyes were amazing. Framed with long and thick eyelashes, it helds a certain sense of knowledge- something true. The depth was deep, I feared the fall would never end. It shines in the most unusual way, capturing everything from the hint of red on my lips to the tiny birthmark on my back. So many overwhelming urges, like cool melting ice cream on a hot day. Like cotton candy that sticks to your tongue, blue purple pink. Downing lemonades in single gulps with coarse sand digging in between your toes, a gentle reminder of salt and waves. Fingers laced, intertwined, your strength an assurance, a solid wall of hope, one which clears away the black stormy clouds on a bright day. Ignorant of narrowed glances and hidden intentions, faith and trust sailed off unrope with a missing anchor. Like ink on paper, it fades as the days flew, yellowed ribbons and old promises sealed tight in a box. Words and alphabets bluring together, long sentences does nothing anymore to soothe away the black edges. It burns, flames of unnerving pain and disbelief, dreams shattering upon impact. Teardrops like diamonds, you would have drown in a million of them. But time heals all wounds, it heals but the scar will still remains. Mending ties, we are still hand in hand.

For those of you who are fans, wondering whether or not the Mercedes Guardian does exist, it does! Stephenie Meyer calls it by a different name, a slang name so to speak. What she is really talking about is the Mercedes Benz S600 Guard. Here's the link. Yes, it's a "special armoured" vehicle & also, this link comes with a picture. And it is nice. I knew the Cullen's had good taste in cars,but ahhhhhhhh! [link]

Human

2009-04-26T17:58:00.010+08:00

Decisions and choices, it's never easy to make.

But I am human too.

The week has been a little crazy at first with heightened amnimosity but it gradually turn out fine when all it needs is just a little means of communication. Yesterday had been definitely a change, yesterday was a like a day from the past. Beautiful and yet untouchable.

My Jacob Black :)

Update On Weekend; Npcc

2009-04-21T18:58:00.002+08:00

I am not looking back, sorry.

I think we are better off this way.

Anual Awards Ceremony

2009-04-17T23:53:00.001+08:00

The week passed by pretty fast, with homeworks continue piling up and by the end of it all I felt every single thing that is important to me, slipping through my fingers like falling sand. I am tired of trying to pretend, pasting a smile and upholding it when I am very well aware that deep inside my heart has taken yet another stabbing. I can only look from afar while hot tears threatened to spill over, helplessly trying to convince myself that it does not affect me at all. I had listened to endless remarks, fought through negative feelings and look towards the bright bright side each day. But the brightness has dimmed and your absence has made itself more profound. So close but yet so far.

Today, was the much anticipated Anual Awards Ceremony. I did not went back home but instead spent the entire four plus hours in the school library with Marco, Hadad, Mark & Nadhirah. Afterwards three of them went off leaving me with Marco, and the both of us managed to complete some parts of literature assignment together. Then Nadiah, Mizah & Shasha joined in and I guess we did have quite a time joking around- stretching! Haha, those priceless expressions. So we assembled in class at 5.30, took class pictures and proceded to basketball court where we get to see the marching marching parade. First time for me, and I was really really amazed :) The next three hours in the school hall was much of a dull period of time towards the end, but we did shout and scream our throats sore cheering for our classmates! The ending was quite slanted, planned to go home with Zhen Yi but unfortunately for me she had other plans. And I was rather afraid to go home alone, so it was lucky that Sha, Hakiim and Firdaus walked the way that passes my busstop. I missed them sia, they cannot stop talking all the way :)

So currently, I am on a high booze of chocolate syrup and raspberry ice cream. Push aside all my wonderful worries, its my night tonight, lets party.

Missing last year.

2009-04-14T17:32:00.008+08:00

Tuesday, and the world is still beautiful :) My phone has completely, utterly shutdown. I have to go repair at woodlands, causeway point, but I malas lah want go. Straightaway after school lagi, with heavy heavy bag and sweaty sweaty uniform :s maybe around this weekend, just maybe. After all I have a temporary phone, but it can't receive that many messages, must keep deleting to provide more space. Boring. Researching for art materials right now, then I will be off completing homeworks. Especially ulasan akhbar -.-

I miss them, I miss last year pretty much.

On a sunday :)

2009-04-12T14:02:00.004+08:00

Two days ago on friday, I spent the day with Rasheed and I had so much fun despite the heavy rain and bad wheather :) He made me happy, that squiggly feeling deep inside tells me that much. He has the most beautiful eyelashes I have ever seen, so long long like girl. Hahaha, if he reads this confirm paiseh. Hmm, I wish we could do this kind of outings more often, just do something random, sit down somewhere and talk stuff. Just making him smile makes it more worthwhile at the end of the day.

Saturday was the day I lived without showering, well until late afternoon that is. In the morning, I tumbled around in bed with spongebob until the witch screams for me to get out of bed. So I brush my teeth and went to eat breakfast which only consisted of several epok epok potatoes. Sat in front of the telee and proceded to watch mtv music awards 2008 with the kids, and two more movies thereafter. By then, parents had already gone off to Johor and we kids conquer the whole house, best gile. Went cyling with Hareez, and this time with Shikin too, but I got back early for hindustan film while they continue to go couple-cycling together gether. Hindustan film did not suck, it was alright lah, the hero kind of hot :D Then after all the melodrama, I hurried off to shower in case my mom nanti got a heart attack if she comes home early and sees me scruffy scruffy bacin. So I made it, and parents finally reached home just after magrib with several boxes of pizzas and donuts :) Oh oh & they bought Billu Barber, Shah Rukh Khan dvd, but I guess we all going to watch it only next week cause now not much time. Nightime, did nothing much but read novels and chat via sms with him. I want Esclipse! I need to read it, its kind of a great acheivement after I managed to finish New Moon in just a short period of a day. Hmm, and I think Im taking down my blogshop, I sell a whole bunch of items already sampai nak dekat gone. And Im keeping those several leftovers for memories :)

Today, Im going clubbing. Hahaha, banyak punyelah clubbing. Im going baby-visting!

Another Update; Marco :)

2009-04-09T20:34:00.000+08:00

Its thursday, school was over pretty fast today. The library period with Mizah & Marco was quite tense, in a very emotional sort of way. I just hope that things could just get better between them, because I couldn't bear to see people like this. It just reminds me of my problems, oh wait, I dont have one. So im really looking forward to the next three days, no moping around ever again. I wont get to see disturbing things that I dont want to see, which im really glad for. I needed to do something right now, so here I am lazying around and doing nothing much other than the obvious, blogging. I realised I showered three times today, and I think I want another one. I had a really best afternoon, I strained my thighs to the max with the continous cycling around several neighbourhoods. I went with Hareez, I hadn't realised how much I had missed him until he appeared with his cycle polish polish and of course his infamous blue nike bottle. We catch up on old times, and somehow we got around to talking about everything. An hour later, was back at his house with his sister serving me super delicious macaroni soup :) Got back home just before magrib, and for the first time this week, I did feel whole again.

If you could see what I see, you would understand.

Today is sports day.

2009-04-06T21:28:00.004+08:00

I spent the whole of my Saturday with fafa at Johor City Square, where we watch two movies and bought two boxes of pizza from pizza hut home. Oh plus one box of a dozen donuts. We watch Knowing ( which has a really terrible ending, please don't waste your precious money on that one ) but instead try another, Confessions Of A Shopaholic :) It was an amazing movie which makes you laugh continuously at some parts and touched you deeply in various beautiful scenes :) Worth your every ringgit malaysia, hehee! Managed to buy those items that was on my mom to-buy-list. Some items includes Minyak Kapak and whatnots. Overall it was a fun outing despite all those mishaps & misfortunes. Send the box of donuts over to Rasheed place, and was back home by dinner. Thankfully, we reached spore safe & sound!

My sunday was a boring one, don't need to mention.

I was sick the whole day, consuming pills transformed me into a loving zombie -.-

Today was utterly tiring. Fullstop.

Update something new :)

2009-04-02T21:04:00.004+08:00

Hello, just decided to post something since im taking a break from researching art materials. I finally confirmed my theme; Im going to do relaxing. However the dissapointing thing is that Mr Azhar banned us from doing direct approach and thus im trying to get ideas for my final artwork. Stressful, but I guess the easiest thing im looking forward to is just painting. Unless colour combinations might proved to be some mind wrecking problem :S I know im like so lagging since I changed my theme halfway from Mask developments to a whole different version of Relaxing tapi I believe I can do it, but the pressure dah keeps increasing. Nadhirah & I can't run & sit behind behind lagi, ahh. And as for school, I like my bunch of girls! Zhen Yi who brightens up my day just by passing silly notes in history class. Nadhirah 'Bacin' whose unneccessary words can proved to be hilarious jokes afterwards. Shahidah, Mizah & Nadiah for the jiwa-ness and those thousand and one plus uproaring laughters that never fails to leave cramped cheeks :)

These days, we girls stayed in school till the library off just to complete homeworks and do revision. And im missing rasheed already, so so proud of him cause he won the match tadi :) Cheerios!

William Tan :)

2009-03-24T17:41:00.005+08:00

Those smiles dont shine for me any longer.

I kept laughing and laughing and laughing today, I couldnt stop this surprising dose of super high adrenaline. Im afraid if I so much as stop, my miserable wailings are going to give me away. Im a living breathing zombie, but still doing real good while in fact im slowly whithering up inside. It rained heavily in the morning with all those dramatic stormy black clouds, Nadhirah & I were having so much fun avoiding all the work by cutting boards :) So we got our boards already which was amazing, and Mr Azhar kid is getting an inch bigger with every passing day! Well in his wife womb actually, the way he describes it, with all those huge smiles and shaking shoulders. He is really so super excited, I can see why. Haha, I know he would make a good father :)

Anyhow there was maths subsets and sets test which I managed to do, but I had to whisper frantically to Hadad ( who was sitting right next to me ), when Mrs Chan back was turned. I asked him, " Eh, is one a prime number anot?!" When I think back, who in the right mind will say yes, well or maybe even think it. Me -.- I love Matrices, I guess just because I could very well understand the whole friggin bunch of it! & I sat and listened to Vectors during Miss Seah Hpp2 lesson, it was interesting ( including parts where she gets all funny ). So the motivational, inspirational thing I experienced firsthand today was the talk in the hall by Dr William Tan who is a wheelchair athlete :) He is so great plus best best best, his whole life story opened my eyes to the big hearts of the people around him, those many obstacles and setbacks. I salute him :)

Johor trip :)

2009-03-21T22:18:00.004+08:00

I am a one way motor mouth ;)

I bought a pretty exotic vintage pendant on ebay and those other items on my long list just have to wait. But most of all, I want that beautiful volcom purse which cost beyond my price range. Well a little more in the least, my piggybank is getting heavier with each and every passing day. Im doing art right this minute, well in fact im painting and sketching while having IM conversations with bobby at the same time. & I have finally change some details in the template, had to take away the flashbox though as it was always lagging :S

The trip yesterday was pretty tiring, the soles of my favourite shoes became so thirsty already. I ate a whole lot till I get so bloated up, in fact I think I ate more than I had ever eaten in a week. Thats bad kan? Anyhow, Hotel For Dogs is truly amazing. People should go & catch it, it touches the heart. Haha, but really. So we got home at around nine plus where after showers, we all camped out in the living room to watch Slumdog Millionaire together gether :) It ended at midnight & I finally slept at four plus.

The movies that are currently in my list to watch;

Taken

Confessions Of A Shopaholic

Knowing

Transformers 2

X-Men Origins- Wolverine

Passengers

Watchmen ( I think )

The Reader ( I think too )

Billu Barber

12 Rounds

Updates :)

2009-03-19T21:34:00.005+08:00

Updates :)

'Cause it doesn't have to be Valentine's to show someone that you love them.

March holidays is a welcome relieve most to most. For three whole days, I spent the days at home touching neither schoolbooks nor anything in relation to study materials. Instead my bed is my number one bestfriend, especially on those days where it rained pretty heavily. Camped out in the living room with my siblings, we watch movie after movie of hindustani shows or either something entertaining on television. Went to the mall when I was down with fever, borrowed five novels and bought some revision books at popular. It was such a waste as I didn't bring my card, but I guess I do need them badly to risk another trip there. If it wasn't the telee, it was either the computer or just conversing on the end of the line with him. Those days wasn't dull in the least & no, I was not as desperate to go back to school just yet. I don't even miss it, i guess thats just a change for now.

Monday was a trip to school for my physics pendulum practical. It was so much fun, I borrowed so many accesories from Mr Chun :) He was grumbling, he thought the next thing im going to ask him were the answers :S Then afterwards proceded to Mac behind school with Mizah, Mark, Marco & Azri. There were lots of coupons to choose from & Marco made me confused about the Macnuggets. So the both of us spent quite long debating what to eat in front of the counter. It was hilariously fun with them just cracking jokes & telling interesting stories, & the food experiments they did! Zomg.

I went out studying my braincells off today. Venue was at the normal place; Jurong East Library. Rasheed called it jel :S I reached there at ten plus, found a seat at the fourth floor which was quite sway for a first impression. The table was shaky, but I managed somehow. The one I couldn't take was the bunch of malay mat rips at the table next to mine, yargh. For two hours straight I did maths, it was sastfying for me as I can complete what I want in that period of time :) Rasheed came over close to twelve which i didnt mind really as he had a rugby one day camp yesterday, so I told him to get extra extra rest before coming. Left at three, & reached home before seven. I had a whole lot of fun, laughing my ass off with his peculiar behaviour and strange mumurings. Gibberish :D

Anyhow Im leaving for a day in jb tomorrow, frolicking around in theatres and those family time time. Rasheed will be having his match tomorrow with the old singapore team or something; not sure. But I know he will do well, cause he always does. Tiny blisters and all ;)

Imogen Heap

2009-03-18T21:36:00.006+08:00

Here's the day you hoped would never come

Don't feed me violins, just run with me

through rows of speeding cars.

-Imogen Heap

Sketches

2009-03-11T17:21:00.004+08:00

Hello hello; I miss my computer so much. Here I am just sitting uncomfortably with my uniform still on, & im ignoring my mother calls to go & take a shower. Im super tired, my feet & body hurts bloody badly. But the pain doesn't compare in the least to my tummy cramps, my mood took a turn for the worse during english lesson. I can't sit properly, & marco kept bumping into my leg all the while laughing out loud. Im brainstorming for ideas currently, art is still the suckiest thing ever. But I guess its fun if your works are really fantastic, like those slide shows Mr Azhar showed at class tadi. Super lawa siollllll. I drooled on the papercuts, I got really inspired :) So I took back his Spectrum Art book where there were a whole bunch of naked paintings & I planned to sketch for the whole of next week. ( Rasheed likeeee! )

So tadi I managed to complete some homeworks in the library, then saw sayang off to rugby training. Went home & ate my curry ayam plus two plates of white rice and did nothing but moan & groan about the cross country tomorrow. Irritating siaks, I didn't actually planned to run. But after Mr Flash challenged me on for some position 40 minus plus, how could I resist you know? ( secretly ) Then the worse happened, jadi with my cramps and all the delicate situation, I think Im going to forgo on running the whole rounds at Chinese Garden. & khairul said, "Its the last year.." I know, but I think I rather sit, chill & watch people run their hearts out.

There was class photo-taking in school this morning, I think there was a picture in which I didn't smile but had my mouth open so wide. Because we were all crying out" Kithaaaaaa" dumb, really -.- I was really glad maths class test had to be postponed until school reopens! Malay Oral is postponed to this Friday, & Im so glad the march holidays are coming up :) Im going to work my ass off that week, oh oh & Im so going to catch a movie or two next week at jb! Superb. & my mom already booked tickets to Genting this June holidays- kanchiooong!

I think Im going to mandi now, the naggings has started -.-

I just want to wish the very best for Mr Azhar, everything will changed in nine months time ahh :D

REMEMBER

2009-02-22T23:35:00.001+08:00

Im vrooming & zooming- crushing you.

Life has add more pounds in the last few days, I have been so helpless and upset. Issues & decisions has never been more difficult to handle, to tough to fix. Its a narrow road we are walking on, and sooner or later somebody will stumble out and lost their way. Its getting hard to focus, emotions bubbling over. Im getting so tired of plastering a smile on my face, pushing away the hurt, ignoring and pretending things will just be normal as it used to be. I have come to terms that it will not be, and atleast for now Im going to be suckish as I want, screaming and venting out whatever I want. And I still remember these lines; There are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. There is something inside that they can't get to, that they can't never touch. And that is yours.

Next week are common tests, I have done my chemistry revisions and blah blah. The two brats are getting on my nerves like fug and I feel like shoving carrot sticks down their ass. Besides everything, I have been tightly gripping on that lifeline with my sayang. The phone never leaves my side. - You can go back and have what you like if you can remember it well enough.

NEW SHOES

2009-02-20T23:31:00.001+08:00

Marks & Spencer! I love I love!

I am back to my infatuation and my gaga over clothes, web browsing had left me goey goey eyes and salivating over apparels! But sadly, I guess I have to wait till I start working a good paying job, & get those beautiful vast choices of dresses, tops, shirts blah blah, in stores. Speaking of clothes, I am selling half of my wardrobe off, I have found a whole lot tak perlu stuff in there ( considered amazing, but junk ) and thus maybe Im selling it through my blogshop or through ebay, whatsoever. Apparels includes, Zara Collection tees, Esprit tees, Adidas jerseys, Nike Dri-Fit shirts, Warehouse Design Direct top, and a whole bunch of sweaters. Catch is that they are either brand new or to biggie size for me :) But Im thinking of giving them all away too, either giving or selling!

Anyhow peopos! School has been stressful. Common tests are up next week, & Im still struggling with revision, homeworks, tuition homeworks, wth? Im really fighting of the temptation to go out watch a movie, blah blah, have some fun. Shikin says, O level year is not supposed to be fun. Thanks lah girl -.- Memorising history essay paragraphs have left me brain dead, I think about how fafa has escape flabby arms toture, & I really envied her. I hate the bruises on my fingers, I hate how my favourite file crack at the seams at the amount of papers it is squeezed forcefully in there. Whatever worth it shit, I just want everything to pay off when Im done for the year.

Movies update! I watched Bride Wars a few weeks past with Fafa & my little brat siblo. It was awesome, but girlfriend, I did not cry. Haha. And the very best thing is there are more upcoming super fantastic movie in cinemas a few more months later! One of them is definitely Transformers 2! You know what, I really cant wait to go watch, Megan Fox! But as usual, study first, & I have gotta show mummy how much before I book that movie ticket!

Last Saturday was the hugely famous Valentine's Day. Sayang & I went out, but we didnt celebrate with all those exchanging gifts & all. It was mostly marred by a certain number of issues, but we did get to spend time together at the lovely Sky Park. It wasn't a perfect valentine day for either of us, but it was something that change quite a number of things for the better. I love my SS man :)

Recall it as often as you wish; a happy memory never wears out.

ACROSS THE MILES

2009-02-14T00:02:00.007+08:00

We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

Hello sweetlings, I am back from a very busy week. My phone messages limit when ballastic & phonebills has been off charts since the last three months. I am back to having a tutor, & my studies is an ongoing slaughter of braincells. Art is killing me slowly, & I have hundreds of pidegree veins tensing up at the slightest thought of literature essays. Ooh lala, studies is the suckiest thing ever. But suffer now, enjoy later. All those pep talks really did help after all, brainwashed positiveness. I am looking forward to that Chim Chim car :D

RASHEED.

2009-01-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

I love the way you make me feel, like a cloud with no legs.

I float, revolving around you fearless of heights for the first time in my life.

Surprisingly, I am not afraid to fall, because your strong prescence comforts me.

Long finger imprints on my wrist, you right my world when it started to tilt.

My hand fit yours perfectly, making me feel safe & wonderfully secured.

I know I will always be.

You questioned nothing, neither did you asked for anything.

Whatever you gave, you gave from your heart

Whatever you gave, you gave with a smile .

You’re the warmth, you’re the shade when days gets unbearable.

You are my paradise, you are my craving.

You are what I pray for, you are what brings my soul peace.

You are what cools my eyes to see, you are the footsteps of my heart.

I love the way you make me feel, like a melting ice cream on a hot sunday.

Sometimes its your scent, sometimes its your words.

Without asking for it, I have recieved the whole world.

You are the being that lightens my heart, you are all the valuable things of all lifetimes.

You are sunshine, you are my strength.

You are the light in my world, you are my everything.

I fell in love with you again & again, once, twice, a thousand times.

Insatiable, I love you.

Written by- Yours Sincerely.

Dedicated; To my Rasheed Rahmat.
My Bobby.

BOUGHT KFC LUNCH

2009-01-31T20:01:00.005+08:00

Today is another day at home, just chilling & reading Readers Digest. Homeworks are still pending, probably waiting to be put off till tomorrow. Last minute work as usual, my die-hard habit hasn't change a bit. Watched Om Shanti Om this afternoon, it was really hilarious & definitely fantastic. I love the songs, the plot, how it gets me so addicted. Sha even called me up to informed me about it. I had a good laugh with my siblings & my dearest mummy, I haven't had this much fun since... Yesterday. Haha, but you want to know something? Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is a much more fantastic hindustani movie, also starring Shah Rukh Khan :D When I say its good, it really is.

Yesterday was a tiring day all in all. I went back home around six plus, having completed half of the blardy six assignments that were due on that day. Atleast I was not alone, sayang came back to school after his fridays prayers just to accompany me with my work. & he bought me lunch, which left me so speechless because its really the sweetest & the most unexpected thing for him to do. But I love it soo much, & zinger burger has never tasted so finger licking good :) We ate in the canteen, with him tugging on my shoelace all the while, wiping off those 'mayo' on my mouth, making me laugh throughout & just making me the damn most happiest woman alive :)

Even through all those problems, we still survived right?

Yeah its true, it just shows how strong our bond is, how invincible we are.

I love you.

COMPUTER RENEWED

2009-01-28T16:57:00.003+08:00

My computer has finally been repaired! :D Hello! Now, there's not only one internet-working computer in the house, there's three! Thats including one with a flatscreen that has been sitting dusty below my desk for months. I missed blogging and the vast entertainment, internet! But I survived without a living keyboard for close to a month, & all I can say is Im proud of it :) Many events, many stories, has happen those past few weeks. It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning of a year in a brand new school, & the journey is still on-going. Its a new year, without fafa & those bitchy boys, school days are really empty without their prescence :(

Studies, homework, tests & more ( you get the drift ) - its starting to choke off my power supply. Im so tired of reading textbooks & doing essays! I didn't know O levels could be stressful this early, its not even February yet! But Im hanging in there, if everyone could do it, I could too :D Im going to tutor sayang on his weakling subjects, soon. & since I don't wish to continue O level tuition with Baizura, I guess I would take up the Caravan Tuition Centre thing. Im not disciplined enough to study at the right timing, time slots are always all over the place. You know what, I just have a feeling that this year may come & go before we all know it. Thats... *hyperventilating*

I have the chance now to do my research on Art, & i really miss those old trips to Vivo where school is still a gazilion years away. Studying your brains cells out is the suckiest thing ever.

SPOILT COMPUTER

2008-12-29T13:26:00.015+08:00

Hello friends and wonderful humans out there :) Feels like I have been gone for so long, home computer was down due to virus and my daily life kinda suck now without computer entertainment. But it didn't suck real badly, I still helped out at home, go outings as usual, and spend my days with my pumpkin. So currently I am right here at Mummy workplace, just using the office computer, & oh boy I am so loving it! He He! Was supposed to go out with bobby today, just spend time together, sit around and chat. But atlast he couldn't make it, so here I am right now with Nurul sitting beside me onlining on her Marapets game. Hmm, so this Thursday is the start of a brand new year. The year where we all become Einsteins and work friggin hard for our wonderful O levels- I am definitely not ready baby.

New year resolutions?

Become a better person

Help out more at home

Avoid sleeping the whole day away

Work hard for O levels

I think thats about it anyway. Well if there's more resolutions I would put it up :) & my obsession with clothes has not yet been banished fully. I love clothes so much I think I can die from overdosage. Went shopping with dearest mummy & Nurul at Singapore Expo- Metro Sale yesterday. Bought quite a number of things including choclolates, chocolates & more chocolates :D Reached home just before magrib, I was burning with headaches and migranes by the time I was done showering. Didn't get that much of a rest afterwards though, I think I was too worried -.-

Two days ago, December 27th- was sayang sixteen birthday :) His mummy called me up in the early morning hours, planned caertain things and off I went over to his house. But before that, Ifa dropby with her sister in tow to take her clothings and such. Talk many many, chatted then off we went to Westmall where she followed me ran errands ( which took soooooo long ) then cabbed back to her house where I spent quite awhile there. Say thanks to your mummy for me okay gogol! Hakhakhak! ( Lucky, we didn't get chased b kelings anymore- traumatised. Huh! ) Celebrated his birthday together with his family members, & his parents were sooo super nice :) His siblings had a good laugh at me though. Heh. Went out to spent time together with him for awhile then he send me home just after magrib. Best best best, I had so much fun. & he loved his gift so much, I am so relieved okay! :D

Hmm, all in all I have yet to buy my leftover schoolbooks, watch Bedtime Stories with siblings ( & hopefully with fafa ) & prepare for school reopens. I can't wait I think, but bloody hell- climbing up five levels to the parade square will be a huge improvement for weight loss.

UPDATES

2008-12-24T15:43:00.019+08:00

There is an extraordinary love story in every ordinary jodi :)

Hello martians and mutants, its Wednesday for people who are waking up drunk and overdose on the friggin happy pill. & for updates, this past few days had been surprisingly amazing all in all. Last week on thursday- me & my two other siblings bought tickets for a movie show; Twilight! Fafa was supposed to tag along, but she didn't have any cash on her. & she refused my offer to borrow her money. How kind of her -.- on Sunday, 21 December was mummy birthday! We didn't do anything interesting but just spend time at home together. On that day in the afternoon, went over to Shahidah open house event for a gathering. It was super super, and the spaghetti was delicious. Halfway through I got a case of pening pening & my 'pregnant' sayang talk me into eating panadol pills. We all chatted, talk crap, took pictures ( whoops! ) and we left her home around five plus where he send me home :) Talking things out had never been better, he keeps me safe all the time and it feels wonderful.

Monday was a trip to johor bahru with parents & Nurul. Taufiq was down at school camp so he couldn't join in the fun. Now that day was a real celebration! - mummy belated birthday celebration that is :) The imigration was beautiful, its so huge & its new! And we were so awed we explored everything, nampak sah jakun kan. Its much like Changi Airport now, but Singapore as usual is still the best! Anyhow we went over to City Square where we booked tickets for three movies. YesMan. Angus, thongs & snogging ( I think its that ). & watch Transporter 3! Ate, shopped, watch movies and was home around ten plus in the evening. Talked with him afterwards, & conversation was goooooood!

And tuesday, that is yesterday... Guess what I did? Watch movie again! Tadaa! At Golden Village- Jurong Point with dearest little sister Nurul & Fafa. Watch a hindustani movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and it was freaking freaking freaking freaking super super! A- one dammit! The three hour story made me cry a whole lot, because it was touching. & Shahrukh Khan was a hottie with his tight fitting clothes, the lady is beautiful too :) Its a must watch, really really. Its worth your ten bucks! Go go go now! & Fafa, I want to watch it again tau, maybe today. Hohoho! & I don't want to admit it, but I do miss my sayang real bad :(

N LEVELS RESULTS

2008-12-18T23:43:00.008+08:00

Your voice tells it all.

First & foremost, the shock of eight hours ago had finally faded off, all those days of waiting, hoping, & praying is finally over. The bus trip to school was a case of sweaty palms and heavy heartbeats. & although holding his hand tightly was for reassurance, it really didn't help in the slightest. Because I guess everyone is scared too. Even Karthi -.- The speeches were so long I thought of asking the speaker to go die, but oh well, once I held the slip of paper in my hands, it was definitely nerve racking. I passed on with Seven freaking points, & got promoted to next year Secondary Five! Shahidah was overjoyed too, & I am definitely happy for Rasheed Rahmat, my lovely sayang who got promoted too :) My dearest Fafa didn't make it, and that includes our bunch of wonderful close-curcuit guys all in all. I don't want all of them to freaking go, I will miss my Art partner & Movie partner partner so so much :( Next year wouldn't be the same without you guys! Fafaaaaaa don't go :( But no matter what, we will still keep in touch kan kan? Must open your blog soon tau!

After everything, went out makan with sweetcheeks and friends. Then half an hour later was off to Fafa house to have a chat with her. Cabbed home and mummy surprised me with a Ferrero Rocher chocolate box and I have been eating them like snacks. Two hours ago, mummy work friends came over to send packages of unused clothings and now I have new new bunch of Marks & Spencer hoodies, sweaters, cardigans, dress and blouses, Adidas jerseys, Volcom sweater, Dorothy Perkins long sleeves, Topshop shirts & tanktops, Crocodile shirts, Nike shirts, flipflops, caps, camisole, shoes, sportskirts, sportshorts & sportsbra, and Victoria Secret undies! I lost my grey undies two days ago, so this is a so super super replacement! :) So I cleared my whole wardrobe ( I really meant the whole wardrobe ) & I am giving away all my Esprit, Zara, Adidas, nobrands tee-shirts all in all. So now my room is a definite wreck with three huge plastic bags that I am giving away right next to the door. I am so lucky :) I loveeeeeee clothes, & I love my mummy- at times :D

I want my Rasheed Rahmat, & I hope you are happy sayang :)

VIVO WITH BOB

2008-12-16T22:51:00.006+08:00

His emotions were not yours to wear.

It has been an officially good tuesday with my lovely parents & sister out of town. They went to Batam to shopped for many neccesities, & I practically thrown myself out of their plans. Nope, I don't want to get even a single inch involved. So they left early today in the morning & they woked me up in the middle of my dreamland sleep just to help drag some couple of bags down the lift. & my boxers kept sliding down my hips and the fact that my appearance was wonderfully dishelved ( asha called it Ms Lion ) and my wanting to use the loo badly didn't help in the very least. Alas, I peed somewhere unsafe. Hohoho, just kidding! So without them to banyak nyonyek in the house, it was just me & little brother. Just somewhat the occupants of this big sunyi household.

He & I ate a whole bunch of food mummy cooked for us before she left, then somewhat I encountered a dillemma somewhere about not wanting to leave him behind alone at home while I went out with Sayang. So at last bro told me he was staying home, allowing me to leave - with my state of mind in peace. Ngaji today was also cancelled to as Uztad had family problems, and so so I got to spend more quality time with him. Reached home quite late, definitely had much fun & we talk a whole bunch of things out too.. I will be there for each you pumpkin, through the thick & thin, through the good & bad times :) & he surprised me with something totally unexpected! I could just cry thinking about it as I wanted that item so much, & he bought it for me a whole long long time ago. Mygod. Tell you as soon as that artifact is in my grasp! I love youuuuuuuuuuuu!

Results are in two more days, friggin hell.

SENGKANG WEDDING

2008-12-15T11:57:00.007+08:00

May tomorrow find us together again :)

I spend the whole day at Sengkang yesterday, attending to a close relative wedding. Helping out Kendarat was friggin tough as I had only 4 hours of sleep the day before. Running around in heels wasn't quite a nice picture too, I guess. The marriage ceremony was so super super with kuda kepang & all. Can't help imagining my wedding in nine years time :D hohoo! So the bride was married off to a bodybuiler and his friends was puff puff ( well in appearance to a bodybuiler body ), one of them was crowned as Mr Universe for Bodybuiding too if I am not wrong :) Everything was just fine, but I was feeling so so tired so me & Nurul went home first to have a good rest- Blah Blah Blah, I miss my Sayang.

Two days ago, me & Fizah went over to support our guys at the soccer court. Skate Park or whatever it is. So we just spend time there, looking at them scoring nada goals but loving how they show so much determination. Oh well, guys and their balls- natural forever. Called Shahidah to drop down there too as her house was just a few minutes walk, chatted & joke around and then she was off. All the guys were there, definitely a fresh thing as I haven't seen Khairul Anwar and the rest in a long time, so yeah it was all smiles and jokes. Now did I realised, Hakiim had a temper, & it spoils his sweet expressions. Left at around magrib, & it was a trip of sugar smiles and silence heartbeats from there on :)

As for today, I am rotting at home officially. I have no mood to go out & let my hair down. Blah Blah, probably will spend some time chatting with sweetcheeks later on, have I said how much I missed him? Oh my. & Shahidah & her sister dropped by my house this early morning just to take the lipgloss box. Thanks for buying, lovely. Buy more & promote more! Hehe! ( Btw don't tell people what you saw ;p )

Blogshop: http://www.fillage-redslots.blogspot.com/

ESCAPE THEME PARK

2008-12-12T21:25:00.003+08:00

Whisper in my ear all your dreams.

Today was an outing with girlfriends and one lovely gayboy :) We went to.... Escape Theme Park! Tadaa! Had to wake up darn early in the morning- other than that the busride, train ride, & everything was super super hilarious. I laughed a whole lot and yeah I did enjoyed my activities although we all played limited amount of games. I hate heights! Yes I hate bloody heights, & Shahidah Shakirin, I don't need extra undies -.- So after the fun fun fun, we headed to Skate Park where sayang and friends were playing soccer ( the journey took more than a bloody friggin hour ) and get to see him! :D Oh so happy okay Sharifah Adilla. Then two hours later, after we shopped for "Agar Agar Strip" & two heavy bottles of mineral water & one large french fries ( with a whole lot of salt ), he send me all the way home. I love you more, Rasheed Rahmat :)

Pictures for today will be uploaded soon enough- as they are in Fafa grasp! Goodnight toenails!

VIVO WITH RASHEED

2008-12-11T17:39:00.009+08:00

A tomorrow is always better than a today :)

Hello earthlings & womanizers, past few days has been a terrible bliss and I realised I did smile and enjoyed myself a whole lot. Past tuesday, I bought somebody birthday gift & then proceded on to Fafa crib to send over the makeup she bought. So so so, on my wonderful slow slow journey towards her house, I stumbled upon Eza & Rudee and their child in the bus. Oh boy, it was a momentary akwardness- I didn't know what to say really, and neither did they. So we said our hellos and goodbyes and their two year old child just kept grinning its boyish grin, & I realised it look so much like his father -.- Put that aside, and lock it away. These things are better left in the past :) So ten minutes after I mailed her items at her doorstep, I headed over to Sayang home home where he was doing his buisness in the tandas when I beep beep. I think I spend 2hours there just watching telee & chatting much stuff. In the end, his brother served me maggie mee & the both of us shared the meal after much force force from me :] hee! After all he is currently surviving on an empty stomach- so what have I to do but worry? He send me home in his lovely boxers and and and .... :D

I met sayang again yesterday, because I ajak him go out you see :) So we went to Vivo City, 3rd favourite hangout place. He was late, but I didn't really mind. Bus trip there was super hilarious, with him contributing the most funniest ideas to the 'Plans for Wednesday', I laughed a whole lot and in the end he told me it was his intention to make me laugh :) We made a bet too on that short trip journey, & I promised my deal if he did fullfill his. Heheh. So we did many things in between, like dropping in Daiso first to say hello to friends, had lunch at LJS ( where we bargained forever ), then we shopped for furniture for our lovely house ( nine years later ) at Daiso & he used his credit card to pay for it. Nah, just kidding :p He paid for items which Hakiim, Syakir and all asked him to buy.. So many minutes later, proceded to Sky Park where we gone to chill and chat. Thinking back about those moments really eats me up, man I missed him so much- although its I saw him just 24 hours ago. But its still never enough. Rasheed, I love you more :D

So today was just... today. I had the most tiring day of my life where I spent five friggin hours of my life at ICA building just having my passport renewed. With mother & nurul of course. I am so tired, I can feel my body burning up already & I really hope I am not coming down with something. Flu or fever- go away from me! Had been raining ever since I came home- but my wonderful bed is waiting for an occupant. Oh man, comfy sheets and more comfy comfy comforter :) The extra warmth only he could provide, eheh. I am hungry too, so im off now to have my dinner! Ohhoooo, my eyes are friggin tired and I just want to knockout and never awake. I love you all.

Blogshop; http://www.fillage-redslots.blogspot.com/

BOTANICS GARDEN

2008-12-09T20:09:00.008+08:00

4th December, Botanic Gardens with x primary school mates :)

Credits to Naz & Suzanna for pictures!

HARI RAYA AIDILADHA

2008-12-08T21:51:00.007+08:00

Sometimes the greastest journey is the distance between two people.

Hello human and aliens that I adore! Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! Things had been pretty hectic, family didn't even went out for raya visiting and all. Instead mom bought us along shopping at Spore Expo where there was a mega mega sale there! So bought a whole lot of stuff, and I bought a hot pink bedsheets and comforter with this brat girl cartoon imprinted on it. It was so wow. After scanning through everything at the counter, the total cost exceded more $300 plus plus. And those stuff will be delivered home free of charge in two days time, definitely a big sastifaction for us. So shopped again ( I got many new clothes! ) & went to eat burger king which was so fucking expensive ( there was no student meal! ) then ate with Cik Mila, mom & the kiddos outside the restaurant. So it was a good day all in all, reached home at 8plus plus where father was waiting for mother in a foul mood. So in the end they went out to go relatives house, where we currently are chilling right here at home.

I miss my prince charming so much that I have been dreaming about him ever since last Friday. We still text messaged a gazzilions time everyday, but oh my how do I miss those smiles. I am really glad he did recover from his blistered foot accident, *kiss forehead* because I am worried like one big ninny. One day this week, I am going to go out with him and have a blast & I don't care what people are going to say about how teenagers who get carried away with their young love lifes. And I hope it will be real soon! I miss him like crazy.

Anyway for people who doesn't know yet, I own a blogshop! :D Yes I do, so if you are interested, here's the link below. Grab them for Christmas gifts, Birthdays, whatever. But grab them fast, because stocks are running out like pancakes! Enjoy ladies!

http://fillage-redslots.blogspot.com/

3RD DECEMBER WITH NAZ

2008-12-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

December 3rd- Sleepover at Naz house :)

PICTURES OF SHOPPING WITH NAZ

2008-12-06T00:25:00.006+08:00

December 3rd- Shopping with Naz at Orchard & Bugis :)

WHAT IS LOVE?

2008-12-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

Love is giving your entire soul to someone and not expecting anything in return.
Love is the force that seems to be absent in today's world more than anything else.

People seem to have forgotten how to be unselfish.

Love is letting someone be in all of your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, your decisions, even if it's just the merest shadow of them. Love is staying up all night with somone talking about everything and nothing, really listening to what they say, and not falling asleep. Love is that thing that drives you crazy.

That makes you do things you'd otherwise never dream of doing.

Love is a mystery.

Love is that indefinable quality that has more power than any other thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHASHA

2008-12-04T23:40:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday, Shahidah Shakirin!

Happy Birthday to you!

I am glad for all the things we talk about on the night of your special day- I am glad we are alright. I am sorry if you have to shed tears, but all in all I just want to remind you that I love you and I am thankful I have such a wonderful friend like you. Some things are better left behind, in the past, - its a fresh new page, starting from right now :)

STARBUCKS

2008-12-01T19:34:00.008+08:00

Its starbucks day (:

I didn't know that next week was Hari Raya Haji so it was surprising when an advertisment appeared on television showing "Hari Raya Specials" and we went " kan dah lepas!" We had a good laugh afterwards when we found out, & mom says we are an embarrasment if we made that claim in public. Oh well, we did confused it with Hari Raya Aidilfitri though -.- So that meant more baking of chocolate chip cookies, jeez I eat more than I bake. I had completely finished running errands for today, and for the past few days of touring each area in Singapore was too much for my worldy goody legs. Of course my link card suffered the worse, but with incoming cash like that who wouldn't work hard for it, ain't that right? :) So I woke up quite late today, brush my teeth & had any other normal breakfast one teenager might have, and then Im off to 'work' again and then to sister school to buy her school books. Oh oh before that, I found out that Bukit Batok Secondary School had thrown away schoolbooks - highlight the word thrown- & part of it was mine precious Chemistry book & maybe some notes. After much check throughs, I discovered Mr Azhar Spectrum book amongst my old clothings. Psst. Terrifying surreal.

Went two trips to & fro today- because Nurul forgot to bring her lovely booklist. The weather wasn't helping either, & so we were on endless debates which ended up with me stromping home and she fuming mad at the back of the lane. So we did make a compromise, and then get the friggin prig of a booklist and then cab off to her school where the seller was totally non-english speaking. Hello, we are buying books not watching greenville scenery. Cabbed home and reached around late 3plus plus, watch Smallville, & then off to meeting Hadad to get my check :] Hoohoo! I have enough money now to go shopping! But I have to deal with first deals first. Going to get pretty busy this week with many upcoming events. But pretty busy is what I need right now. I don't need some movie chick flick nor your kind of advices anymore, it really isn't helping the situation. Sometimes you just know when is the right time to stop, & the time is now.

But I had a heart then, now I couldn't care less.

REPAIR PHONE WITH NAZ

2008-11-29T12:41:00.004+08:00

Started from Bukit Batok to Chua Chu Kang MRT Station- She accompanied me the whole time yesterday, chatting & filling me up with her Mr Sunshine and listening to my lastest stories. She give out advices like plain phamplets handouts, I think I am grateful for that. Her questions really got me thinking, about every single thing in life and how I didn't want things to end the way I visioned them to end like. She talked, I talked & we trained over to Woodlands to meet another friendly buyer. Afterwards was off to luncheon at Causeway Point where we dine in an overcrowded KFC restaurant :] had a hard time finding seats but alas we got a pair right near a glass window overlooking the street. Then off to checkout my phone problems.

"You have to give & take" -

Six years of friendship and counting, you understand me better than I ever understood myself. Maybe I ain't there for you at times, but I know you would always be there for me through everything- you are different girl, and thats why I love you, much more than Mr Sunshine at least :]

BETWEEN

2008-11-28T23:35:00.001+08:00

- Live only for today, & don't think of tomorrow

Movie watching at Hareez with homemade disaster 'popcorns' had never been more unusual. Shikin tried experimenting my chocolate chip coookies recipe & she nearly burnt down the house. So much for baking laaa girl. But Hareez says it still tastes good. Waaa.

DEEP DOWN INSIDE

2008-11-27T18:46:00.006+08:00

No, you wouldn't understand, unless you have been in my shoes. Then you would get how hard it is for me to come straight forth and tell you how afraid I am. But its always easy just to put a suck-up face everytime and keep on pretending that things are just great when you know something precious is slipping through your fingers. I don't know why I am doing this now-

"sometimes i wonder why you still take all this shit." yeah, sometimes i wonder why i still take all this shit.

With that, it leaves me wondering whether or not my apologies were worth anything and whether i pathetically have some form of importance because if i could do a position switch, i'd confidently say that an apology would mean the world and you being of an importance is totally just an understatement. Sorry.

To a friend- & I thank you so much for leaving me out on your little Friday vacation.

WILD CHILD

2008-11-26T13:00:00.003+08:00

Your hands are mine to hold.

Off to Orchard Cineleisure yesterday to watch the preview of Wild Child. Credits and many thanks to AisyahK for inviting the six of us :) Free gifts and Wild Child movie posters later, we headed off for dinner and I reached home around nine. The movie was surprisingly engaging & I think I am going to catch it again soon with Nurul when the movie officially is in cinemas. Two days ago, Rasheed & I headed off to Vivocity to just hang around & meetups with the Daiso people. Sadly the person I was looking forward to meeting isn't working for the day- so well we accompanied Syakir look for his phone and then Rasheed sent me home. I had fun, and I guess I had more than I bargained for in the process :] These past few days I kept having these pounding headaches and I think its due to the insufficient sleep I haven't been having much of. Been getting much rest, and so it has faded to a certain degree of pound pound. Anyhow I want to go out & work soon, or else I will die of boredom and restlessness from lazing my lazy bum around the house. But I have been earning $70 plus plus a day, or more because of the products I have been selling :) & I have been taking orders for brownies and chocolate chips cookies. Thats the way I earn my money recently without getting out of the house. But its difficult if something comes up then, I have to juggle my timing. So if do have any inquiries about orders do ask yeah. I think I have sufficient amount already to go buy Christmas gifts, going shopping soon baby! & this is what they call- Making the best out of the best :D

ITS MY STORY

2008-11-22T17:45:00.002+08:00

Because we know that none of them would felt this way.

Hello humans out there, I have been away for so long. And now I am back to writing, but I can't find the words to start. Many things happened, and somewhere in between I have to stop for once and reflect. She told me I was on-going all the time- every single minute of my life-, & I must know when is the right time to stop for awhile. I guess I did, & I think of what I did, what I had done, how it had hurt all the people that I love, and how much they all meant to me. But I can't take back those words I say, actions I did these past month, no phonecalls & no news, I know what I did was terribly wrong. I think I had already lost you- but I hope our friendship can still be salvaged. I am only human, we make mistakes all the time. Somewhere down the road, I left you alone to fend for yourself and your problems. I know I am selfish at times & I know I am not a good friend, but I am trying to be the best I can be now. But I don't know where to start, because you have to help me too. I miss all those times we shared, we were close once but I guess you don't need me anymore as you have your own close friends already. I don't need anything more girl. I just need you to forgive me. Shahidah Shakirin, I love you.

My parents, they did only what they think is right for me. I understand their situation but sometimes I just want them to understand me too. And here it is, I don't like staying at home. Because I feel trapped here, I feel suffocated. I dislike holidays if it meant another day of house-cleaning and television entertainment. I am bored here. Now that I got fired from a job with a problematic boss, I have been filling my days with extra outings with Rasheed and other people. But now all these are going to end right here because of the mounting lies I told. And who am I trying to kid anyway? I know they will get suspicious one day and they will ask dozens and millions of questions that I myself have no definite answers for. I am liar, but a good one. Its a hard habit to break, but so what? It helped me survive in many ways. And for people who don't know this, I hate my father. & I will forever will. He means nothing to me, & though his words last night scared me a whole lot, I am going to pretend it doesn't get to me. Not one word, not ever. I am sixteen already, & I have a brain & I can think. I am nothing you describe about me, oh but thats because you don't know me. You never did. And you know what, I can't wait to get out of your life, your house, & out of your bloody sight. Stop treating me like a child- because I had already stopped acting like one.

Everyday people are getting sick and dying from diseases and sickness. But we have no control of these things, its godwill & we have to let it go at another stage- but it takes time. Death is unexpected and its a harsh reality that I am trying to get used to. I always thought before you die there would be this sign or symptoms and then they give you a time limit on when you are going to die. Maybe a few months more or a few years, depends. But people have only three or even a day- to be with their family one last time. Or they might have even a few minutes more to repent. I have never seen death up close and personal before, but I have heard stories of sudden deaths recently. & my mother has been going to vist the sick lately, & I kept counting her trips and there were too many to count. Death is inevitable.

To Shikin, Hareez and Adam who came over last week, thanks for bringing along the ice cream cake and mee goreng mama. Thanks for the album copy of wedding pictures and the stories of Frankestein. Sorry, but you guys didn't scare me. Hohoo. & Naz, who came over a few days ago, thanks for taking away your wonderful birthday gift out of my hands and staying over until maghrib. You entertained me with Iqbal chats and ahem more chats. I can't wait for the outings! Its going to be a long wait, but you are welcome to drop by again anytime :]

To my wonderful Rasheed Rahmat, you light up my world when it is grey. I can say anything, I can be anything in your prescence and you wouldn't mind one single bit. Our conversations are sillies stories of prince charmings and princesses, but they would still be fresh in my mind twenty years from now. Each action, each word are precious enough to treasure forever because they are made with you. Sure we have our problems at times, but then it has always been resolved the next day or so. I have never been more happier with you and I hope we would last forever. Our story is only the beginning- and I know you did promised me much more C:

I have always believed blog posts are limited to an extend of private personal things- but today I don't mind writing this much.

VIVO CITY

2008-11-09T20:19:00.006+08:00

You never see it coming, because it blinded you from the start.

Work was tiring and definitely had to stand for six hours straight without breaks. But it was just simple, talking to tourists & telling them the sale prices although some of it were the wrong prices. Working with my colleagues- Rasheed, Hadad & Bong was a fun experience- with us running around in bubble snow foam and playing games from the Christmas Booth Stalls. We got to wear a Santa Claus hat & our lunch or dinner breaks are quite fun. He he! & most to most I met new people who work there too :] Yesterday much to my delight, Rasheed fetch me from work & we proceded to Vivo to had dinner. I was so hungry I can practically eat three horses. So in the end we had the Nasi Ayam meal I was craving about at the banquet- super delicious! Much laughing and giggling in-between meals later, we went to meet Fafa after her working period at the most top top level. She was with boyfriend & girlfriend, & they were so busy soaking their feet they didn't realised our prescence. So this that this that, & she love her birthday gift, which was definitely wonderful. & then we went off not wanting to intrude & alas after much touring the whole building up & down, he & I eventually decided on a place on the last level. Spent hours there soaking our feet, watching the beautiful sunset and just having a good time. It was a memorable day all in all, I had a great time. & he finally proved he was worth his muscles. I am awestruck speechless.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAFA

2008-11-06T19:38:00.005+08:00

Sharifah Adilla Syed Omar

Happy 16th Birthday girlfriend :D We can bring movies to a whole new level now that we are wonderfully sixteen already. & I know we haven't been spending much time together now that I have mine & you have yours, and also there's work involve and all- but we will catch up on old times again soon yeah. & I can't wait for grad night and more and more and more. I love you girlfriend, because you make life a brighter and much cheerier place to live in. & I am thankful I have someone like you in my life. I love you girl, two years of friendship & going strong. With all my heart I hope we girls could last forever.

& I hope you love your gift :]

NAZ SWEET SIXTEEN

2008-11-05T16:47:00.017+08:00

Nurann Nazurah Sazali.

Hello beautiful. Happy sweet sixteen birthday, finally you turned a year older. Now we can put that lovely IC of yours to good use yeah :D Six years of friendship; & still going strong - you will forever be that darling bestfriend of mine, because you are always there whenever I need you. Offering advices and assuring me of a better tomorrow. I will be lost without you. I love you girl.

Do enjoy your day today & your fed-ex delivers soon :]

WORK

2008-11-04T12:19:00.005+08:00

Just to hear you call out my name.

I am finally updating, feels like I haven't touch the computer for forever. Many interesting things had happened in the past few days. Like I went for a job interview yestersday at Sentosa with Rasheed & Hadad & we get the job straightaway. And the boss was super nice, well she doesn't look like a boss at all. We get to take the cable car ride everyday to work for free and those working on the afternoon shift which ends at 11 plus pm, they get a free cab ride home. And the job can be seen as tiring as there are much standing involve but wow, we are just supposed to stand there, greet customers and done. No handling cashing machines and such. Aisyah & Bong are working there too, so we friends will just practically see each other during breaks & enjoy. With the visitor pass, we can do so much, like tour the whole Sentosa. Ha ha! Be jealous. Okay well, I dislike the uniform so so much, but Rasheed says There's nothing wrong with it. Garr. He made me laugh a whole lot- & it feels nice.

After the interview, Rasheed & I went over to Vivo & visited Fafa and the rest, just to see them work. & much to my surprise their uniform is hilarious :D oops. But he & I just spent hours there shopping and after practically rounding the store a thousand hundred times & putting whatever interesting items we saw into our go-cart, he told me he didn't bring his credit cart. We were laughing so loud and disturbing Hakiim and all, he got a warning on his first day off training. Sorry. But I did have fun, it was a really really great day although in the end my legs felt like leaden poles of sticks and my arms hurts with popping blue-black bruises.

& I got a new phone people. & for those of you who don't know yet; I chopped off my fringe.

Well in a nice way.

LOG IN BLOGGING

2008-10-31T10:34:00.007+08:00

The sun dries tears in my eyes.

I am dreadfully tired, but surprisingly I feel a pitter-pitter of relieved and happiness all mixed into one. Slept early yesterday evening, and somehow I woke up in the middle of the early morning hours & text messaged him. & he replied much to my surprise. We went on for hours till the bright sunlight blinded me & I rolled out of the bed. Hurts, but it was a good kind of hurt. I missed him that badly, even Shikin lose this deal :] Now I think I am coming down with a migrane, head continues to bug me with its constant aching. Sweat pores and just sitting here with my flowery boxers looks kinda dumb. I didn't cook my eggs pretty well, they look rather yolky. & I am surfing through the net, hoping somehow somewhere I come across a prom short dress sale. Hoho, too much to hope I guess. Going shopping for a dress, well surveying first actually, with friends, & maybe just maybe I am going on a date with Mummy. Ask her to see what is nice & what is not, but its going to be difficult since our tastes are so far apart. Well, to put it in an easier way; world's apart. Ha ha. But she has been so nice, well after we argued yesterday and many days before. We might be going to Starhub centre today too, she's going to buy me a new phone because my 2 year contract's nearly ending and my current phone is a goner with its irritating blankscreens. So I had to use my lovely sec two nokia phone for the time being. & when I read old text messages stored in it, I laughed till I cried. Because it was damn hilarious; our zaman kentalan. I love Saheera messages; she had a whole lot of stories to tell & I am going to keep them till the next time I see her, probably she will laugh too. Fafa messages were so last two years ago, I showed her & we both fell over laughing. Hoohoo! Other than that, it was Firdaus messages, and please I am not going to say I am looking forward to laughing it with you, not interested anyway. Just so you know, if I ever see you or your bloody crooked nose, I am going to stomp you all over. Well before someone stops me that is.

Okay, so no more talking about Firdaus & his blackstabbing heart. I think I am pretty excited about Grad Night on 17 November. But all the details haven't decided yet, I think its all last minute planning like the guys style. Alamak, if liddat difficult lah. But anyhow I still always have things other control right :] I want to ask Putri to come over to help me with stuff on that day, because Shikin couldn't. But I don't know. Everybody's been asking me what colour, this, that, whatever. " Tak stress boleh jadi stress juga tau." Poof. Currently listening to high school musical 3 soundtrack and some spanish songs in documents. Editing photographs and saving them up. I can't find my thumbdrive dammit. Darah up. I want to publish a novel. I have a story saved up somewhere- but I don't know where. Where the fuck is the thumbdrive!!!

MOVIE WATCHING

2008-10-30T10:46:00.003+08:00

High School Musical 3- yesterday.

With girlfriend, her kids & mine.

The pieces could never fit in the right places. But we still survived.

LIFE IS AMAZING.

2008-10-28T20:27:00.004+08:00

It's amazing how you can hear the same words a million times. And you can say them a million times.
They never really have a meaning, they're just words of comfort, words to pass the time, words to get you through the day, the week, the month, the year. And then someone else says those same exact words, and it just hits you with such a force, such a blow, because those mundane, overused words suddenly become meaningful, symbolic, and heart-breakingly true. So these words that have always been committed to your unconscious mind, now they will remain in your heart for a very long time.

Life is truly amazing somtimes.

I AM BACK HOME!

2008-10-27T18:28:00.007+08:00

Four days, three nights. Kampung life during that period wasn't so terrible. Instead I had fun, but truthfully I didn't enjoy that much because I was travelling at the wrong time of the month. Argh. Anyhow I got to meet my cousins which were more than I can count, & now definitely had a clearer picture of the father side of the family tree history. The food there was great, the mosquitoes really had no mercy, went sea-swimming, collecting all kinds of seashells, visiting people houses & stuffing up all their fresh made ikan-keropok, plucking huge amounts of fruits from trees, watch indonesia sinetron on television ( kinda stuck on them now ) , travelling to other pulau like Pasai & Sapari, taking lots of pictures with Taufiq, drinking coconut drink for the first time in my life, running around barefooted with kids way below my age & getting chase by dogs. Terrific. But I did learnt many things during this short period of time, & that is to appreciate life & live it to the fullest. Carpe Diem :)

I am missing my Rasheed Rahmat,
& not forgetting, my girls.

LEAVING TOMORROW

2008-10-23T20:24:00.005+08:00

Because life is beautiful.

Twenty more hours to go, I am leaving hometown and going back to the place I used to run around barefoot. Where peace and clear blue water calls. Where children does not hesitate to make up new games amongst brown sands and scream on top of their lungs. Where poverty is evident behind every eyes. I am going back, finally going back to the place I really belong. I am going home.

I had these wonderful two days, two days just spending time with him, doing nothing but just enjoying each other company. But I am going to miss you Muhd Rasheed Rahmat. I love you many many.

PICTURES

2008-10-22T20:10:00.001+08:00

Jalan raya-

, More pictures to come.

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

2008-10-18T22:39:00.025+08:00

Things to do before I die :

. Travel the world
. See a Broadway show
. Get a car licence
. Learn how to drive
. Go scuba diving
. Witness a miracle
. Beat the shit out of a person (for a good reason)
. Swim with dolphins
. Pass maths with flying colours
. Write a novel & get it published
. Go on a cruise
. Travel in a hot air balloon
. Sketch a perfect potrait of someone
. Be proposed to in public
. Go to university
. Road trip in another country
. Be fluent in other languages
. Go clubbing
. Do a back flip
. Do cartwheels
. Find the perfect job
. Corrupt someone
. Grow taller
. Venice with;
. Spit on someone who deserves it
. Cook dishes for people
. Sit with someone I care about and gaze at stars
. Stand on top of the Eiffel tower
. Pierce my belly button
. Kiss in the rain
. Stop a big fight from happening
. Go skinny dipping
. Get married
. Fulfill my sweet sixteen birthday wish, with him
. Live my life to the fullest.

COLOURFUL FESTIVITIES

2008-10-17T20:03:00.000+08:00

Leave the future alone until it comes.

From Tuesday to Thursday this week, I have walked a thousand miles on lovely heels, add layers to my not flat tummy and increase dosage on my purse. Jalan Raya with friends has definitely been memorable, with photography and delicious food and jokes and laughters. Menambahkan lagi kemeriahan suasana. Aisyahk with her lovely red lipstick, Zafirah with her all time beautiful accessories which I have never seen her wear before, & Rafaila with her gorgeous blue eyes- they are terrific & we are good in dividing cab money :p Zafirah mom cook food was super, ate macroni soup and I had grabbed four barbeque chickens after repeated coaxing. "Jangan segan-segan, makan makan" Who can resist those offer? Ha ha! For the first time I watch Congkak- merepek but a trifle scary at those scenes where the ghost popped out of the blue. Went to Cikgu Mastuty house too, where we finished nuggets in seconds and I carried her child- which cried two seconds after :) We went to a whole bunch of houses and that took up two days. It was a wonderful memory, pictures will be uploaded- as soon as I grabbed them from Rafaila ;p

Wednesday was another jalan raya outing with my dearest best mates. The food was great, and almost all houses there was dishes- I escaped many as my sickness prevented food overdose. Pictures were taken, & my mother ( ohh god ) she took many many, and didn't stop. Poof. Last house ended nine plus because some people had curfews and wanted to be back early. My terrible uncertain mood from morning took a turn for a happy happy happy midnight session with Rasheed. He made me laugh till there were tears in my eyes.

I spend dozens of my green packets dollars on food and so far a handbag. Incoming is still on, going to buy ( I don't think I'm renting ) my graduation night dress. That's on the list, other than that, I am going to buy my printed shoes and I don't know. Maybe I am going to belanja the kids pizza hut. As for finding a job, I don't have to worry anymore. In my case the job found me- currently working for mom, cleaning and cleaning and cleaning the house. & she promised ten bucks at the end of every single week. Thats bliss or what? Just sit at home, no hot hot sun for me, poof. Just two months, that's really very long. But I have it all, & spending it with my girls, movies, & Rasheed :) Next friday Im shipping off to Kampung with family and maybe Cik Mila and maybe Aunt Gladys and her daughter Diyana. Just four days of wonderful boat ride, sea activities, sand-walking, mountain climbing, waterfall mandi mandi, kampung fish soup food, and bathing at the waterwell. & bonding with my lovely cousins whom I have not seen for over one year. People in Singapore would be terribly missed- even if its just for four days. Bringing back some souvenirs ( if i have the chance to pick up some along the way ) From monday to thursday, spending time with him, mygod, - I will miss him that much.

MISSING MY GIRL

2008-10-13T20:04:00.007+08:00

Nurann Nazurah Sazali

I miss you.

MAMMA MIA & HOUSE BUNNY

2008-10-11T23:57:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a movie date with Fafa @ Orchard Cineleisure. My one and only favourite movie partner. Watched Mamma Mia & House Bunny all for twelve $$$ altogether. It was worth the cheap price definitely. Loved the scenes in Mamma Mia. The landscape is truly beautiful. Hilarious scenes, I think I laughed too loud. Fafa nudged me in the thigh to warning warning. House Bunny, way way way fantastic. Its a definite must-watch. I so loooooove how Anna Faris does it. Do it sexy :D

& I had too much food to eat, I think I am over-doing it.

Just got back from Jalan Raya with family. My feet hurts badly, cuts & blisters. I don't love it, at all.

FIRDAUS BUSTARD

2008-10-10T11:45:00.003+08:00

Firdaus,

You are the reason

Why people have middle fingers.

FARHANA SISTER PARTY

2008-10-09T11:18:00.005+08:00

Life is to be fotified by many friendships. To love and be loved is the greatest happiness.

Fate determines who comes into our lives. The heart determines who stays.

I am getting a job, to keep me busy during this holidays. Is either work house chores for parents and get paid at the end of the week or work outside & experience new things. Or maybe I should get a course- do something useful instead of spending my every single moment having unlimited late night outings and burning the holes of my pockets consistently. I am terribly loaded with money currently; but the very weird thing that creeps me out- I have no idea what to do with this much $$$. Buy clothes, accesories? Thinking back I have millions of those, I don't need anything new. Maybe I will spend it all on movies, popcorns and dozens of nachos. Dear god help me; I am putting on weight. But sometimes, I really don't care. Its my body, and I can jog to burn it off, anytime I want. & My mobile is having a fever. Blankscreens and blurry images, fustration doesn't even come close. I am being patient. To those people who experienced late replies from me lately, this is the cause. So terribly sorry, any chance you can cure it?

Yesterday I spend the whole day at home with Rasheed accompanying me at the end of the phone. There was nothing much to do, the televisions didn't provide the best movies at the moment. He kept me laughing throughout, nicest thing to know was that he was in need of a distraction too- from his lovely growling tummy. It rained the whole afternoon, & it feels pure heavenly. After dinner I went over to Farhana house; an invitation for her little sister birthday party. Met everyone there- had a great time. At last it was around ten plus when I reached home- she had to send me, for fear I wonder off again.

Two days ago was a date with Rasheed. He switch off my terrible mood and made me smile throughout. By dinner, I was fantastic. By ten, it was an overdosage of happiness and millions of smiles. I am back to enjoying my life, bring it on people!

N LEVEL OFFICIALY FINISHED

2008-10-06T20:31:00.005+08:00

I only have a small regret that what is locked up in my mind;

Are the most amazing photographs where I document our lives.

I would wait forever more. Because I am no longer just waiting, for that thing worth waiting for.

I am definitely happy, overjoyed, over the moon and terribly terribly glad that N levels are over. No more studying! No more papers! No more schooling! No more schoolbags and schoolbooks and stuffy uniforms and nagging teachers. No more school gates and waking up at six am just for the rush flush to school. No more- till next month when we have to report to get our results back. Have more words to express out, but I am rushing to get back to my television programme. I didn't go anywhere today, went straight home after literature paper and stone with Rasheed on the other end of the phone. I am deadbeat and totally not in the mood despite the wonderful question papers I took on hours ago. There's hope, there's confidence. Supposed to go outing with Eqah this afternoon, over to pasir ris at Haikal open house. I hate dissapointing people, but if I had go ahead with plans and went, I am just going there, just to sastify other needs. Not my own. I am missing my Fafa and indefinite Shahidah Shakirin who has been gone with the wind since- I want to meetup and hang out and watch movies. I am loaded now! Help me spent this money, wisely if god allows :D

I went for another bunga api session today- this time with Sara & Sidique. They came over and picked me up and we went mercun bonding at the lovely barbeque pit which turned black at the end- because. Had a great time, laughing around and playing gunpowder. It definitely cheered me up from my self-pity and as he says "there's a kid in everybody that refuses to grow up." That's true in some ways.

And I can't wait for tomorrow. I am meeting my gogol. Missing him, much. :)

DAYS AFTER HARI RAYA

2008-10-05T10:19:00.004+08:00

Besides food & money; there is bunga api.

5th day into the month of Syawal now. Huge amount of incoming people & $$$. I can hardly complain, because. I am tired and there's still one more N level paper to go, tomorrow. - literature. The rest of the papers, I am done and over with. Everything is pretty easy, except history which I think I flunk straight out from the bottom. I have cash now, lotsa of it, maybe I am going movie watching with Fafa lovely and buy some nice looking shoes. & the rest of the money, keep in the stuffy teddy bank- I have no idea what to do with that much money anyway. I can't wait for jalan raya with friends really, especially with ex btps students, missed my bunch of girls.

Tomorrow after literature paper - open house with Eqah at Pasir Ris. Then tuesday is a date with Rasheed. Friday- might be movie-watching with Fafa. & days after that, I have no idea- so book me while you can! Enjoy enjoy enjoy till I burnout. Being sixteen really does have its advantages. You can use your IC for much better purposes and for great entertainment. Bliss.

This month, besides gobbling up food at houses, stuffing up all their cookie jars, emptying their pockets and burning a hole through their gassy drinks - I want to do something out of the ordinary. Something different. & I know just how to do it, now.

Really have no clue on what happened to my tagboard.

Its gone, with the wind.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

2008-10-01T23:25:00.001+08:00

I was so touched upon viewing this. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri :)

I turned one year older today. I am officially in a legal age to play pool and watch NC16 movies in theatres.

Everything just feels right. A sweet sixteen spent on the first day of hari raya, with family and relatives.

Its double the fun, double the laughters, double the photography, double the gifts & of course double the money.

Inbox memory full from overdose of greetings and lovely messages.

I have the best bestfriends anyone could ever asked for. Nobody can come close to ever ever replacing them.

I have the best family, who fights everytime but still bonds back & as tight as ever.

I have the best sister in the world, who don't mind hearing me vent and listen to all my problems late in the night.

I have the best mother in the world, who would give up everything just to be with her kids.

Birthday wishes; who needs them, when you already have got all you have wished for?

Rasheed Rahmat, thanks for making this world a much greater place to live in, without you there would be shades of grey.

I just want to thank everyone, for midnight phonecalls and sweet messages. For friends who came all the way to Bukit Batok and some right in front of my doorstep. For all the gifts you send, for all the laughters you make me bloat out loud, and the tears you made me shed, I thank you guys deep down from the bottom of my heart. I really love you guys. And god, I am deeply touched by the amount of love you waste on me. For Nurann Nazurah who bought me a Bengawan Solo cake, which was much delicious, and a book on religion which I know you told me before; I can't find the right words to put it because just saying thank you isn't enough. Six years of friendship & still going strong, I hope we last, till the end of our days. For Nurrashikin Asri; thanks for the paraffin scarf. I have been dying and dying to just touch it, & I finally had. Im over the moon, truthfully, I love you and your madness. & I think you and Reezan suits just fine, just fine.

Spongebob Squarepants-

Sandy & Bob forever/.

NEUTRAL

2008-09-23T12:10:00.006+08:00

This is where I am

Stuck right here in the middle

of nowhere and you.

I am laughing and giggling and shrieking and this really does surprises me. Shikin is sitting a few feet away blabbering about how I shouldn't typed out words in bold form and yeah so what if I just kentooooooooot. Hahaha. Just needed some accompany and entertainment to fill up the silence in this house, and she was the one who was available at the right moment so here we are. Garr. I spent my morning today studying Science: Chemistry. I realised this head of mine can store more new information then I thought. Tuition of course, it really helps to discipline this wayward character. Thats called plain laziness. Kreks.

Last night I had a great hour chat with the __________. We mengumpat about HIM. & some topics that popped up definitely made me feel akward & uncomfortable. Shikin says "steer clear of things you are unsure of". Thanks for the reminder, gogol. Chatted with Sha after midnight. I had a great conversation, totally. I am finally starting on my Art. Exam paper is exactly one week from now. Hareez is helping, with admin stuff. Hoohoo. Well like finally tomorrow off to study at Jurong East Library with the people. I am looking forward to getting my math papers done, and finish off any enquires I might have. With or without you.

It's insecurities we are talking about here. I do not deserve this bit of an opportunity to feel the pinch as I have absolutely no clue about anything. Now now SAVE IT for someone who is willing to listen. I am done with all the politics already. I quit & I am off.

BEHAVIOURAL PROBLEM

2008-09-22T12:10:00.007+08:00

Happy 16th Birthday Nadiah Aswen. My one & only Nyonya gila.

19-09-2008

-edited-

This few days has been a bliss, it has been memorable, a little mix of bittersweent and constant addiction pills. I think I even envy myself. But things have a way of changing at the most unexpected moment and unsurprisingly you find yourself back at square one. It happened many time before and its happening again. Current situation is still blurry at the edges and I think its time I take a break. There is no such thing as being lucky, its just a situation of being at the right place with the right person and at the most rightest moment. & life isn't that interesting when you look at in a different way, its the people in your life that sparkle up everything around you and make your stories shines brighter than your eyes. Words are just words at the end of the day, and promises are just made to assure you of better possibilities. There isn't any right or wrong answers, but your actions tells it all.

I am starting my study week break one day earlier. But I am finding it very hard to concentrate.

I watched the rain fall, three am in the morning . Hitting windowpanes and toppling over planted pots outside the windows. Snuggling in bed finally has its appeal. Its cold and a few frozen hours did nothing but made me dreamt of you. At times you make me wonder, at times you bruise me without even realising it.

Yesterday was a lifetime ago.

HIDAYAH

2008-09-18T06:02:00.004+08:00

The best things in life are often the little things.

Hello lovely people. It has been a dusty blog since last friday, dusting it off right now :D A lot has happened since last week. It has been one whirlwind, days like no other where reality doesn't quite touches it. Prepatory exam week has started, we did our papers with this heavy heavy unwilling self motivation, because nobody's going to mark them but ourselves. & thus my table, dinner table, schoobag, my best katil in the world has been covered with papers. Lots and lots of papers. I am mugging pretty hard, flipping through files, and history was just like "reading a storybook". Too focus on maths, maybe starting science revision by tomorrow. & my art; is still waiting for action to take place. Already research on a couple of topics, but as usual, I am always stuck between crossroads.

Just finished Sahur. I had my one slice Teriyaki Chicken pizza and two plates full of spaghetti. Currently buncit but I don't mind. Cause I know somebody out there is Buncit too. Yesterday night, he came over to send the a3 papers. Very much appreciated & next time we will spend more time together okay. Pijak kaki bestfriend :]

Diy painting project is going to start today! Well and the sofa set is going off tonight. So the house will be barely empty, until two days later. Might be going to have buka at someone house and off to Geylang afterwards on Saturday. Parents still have not made up their mind about letting me go, so its doubtful. Its all about staying home & study to them, & of course helping them out with the house nescessities, like doing Hari Raya cookies. Mmmm. Naz has also asked for a study date this Saturday. Plans have to be confirm again Friday night. I think I am going out more than I am studying. Yeah that was just a thought. Anyway planning on watching a couple of movies this month. AD Babylon & Mamma Mia! And of course House Bunny. If its possibe, going to chop Ifa for all movies. She's the best movie date- partner ever. Because she sleeps in between great scenes :D

Last saturday I turned down dinner with Naz as I went buka with all of them, to celebrate someone belated birthday. So we ordered canadian pizza, buzzed about a place to eat at and eventually sat at the park. Had a great time overall, I think I laughed a whole lot, just because I could. Hour-glass is such a nonsense with his hilarious jokes. I am getting used to his friends :] I am having study leave next week! & that means no school until my N levels start. From tuesday to friday I am going to mug mug mug like the waking zombie and if I get sick, I am still going to survive. Going out with a couple of people to teach and be teached. My bag is goinng to have a creak, and if it could protest, it would done so a long long time ago.

AYAT AYAT CINTA PART 2

2008-09-12T15:54:00.010+08:00

As the time goes by, new friends will come but old friends will not go.

This feeling, it grows stronger, everyday and every moment by your side. Just to see you smile- is enough.

Planned to sleep after returning from school today. Seems that I can't, so ended up here, blogging and flipping through nonsensical and boring websites and saving photographies. My stomach hasn't start its complaining, so I guess its still safe to look at food pictures. Yeah, that's all I can think about at situations like this :] So basically I am terribly bored- and my fingers need to type an entry. Typing.... and typing........ School today was all fun and laughter and terkness. Nadiah, Mizah, & Sha made my day by everyone sharing hantu stories and personal happenings. It rained too, and the different change in climate was a welcome than the irritating hot weather. Cikgu tayangkan Ayat Ayat Cinta during class and Sha got -red eyes like fish- during sad scenes. Finished the movie just on time, alhamdulilah, hajat tersampai. :]

Ifa didn't come to school, again. Happy toilet- bonding sweetie. Hope you get well soon & see you tomorrow. Make sure you are cured from the terrible sickness :D And Shikin, Merrien & Hareez dropped by ten minutes ago to hantar mee siam goreng. & fyi it looks super pedas. Mmmmm! I want currypuff and I want hotdogs, nuggets, burgers, siew mai, donuts, cupcakes and brownies. Just because, Going out later after buka with parents. They planning on either going Geylang or Courts. So I am tagging along, just to make sure they make the right choice! Bringing green headphones along to keep me company and maybe just a magazine to keep me entertained. Can't trust parents for that, they are always stuck in their own little world attending to things which requires their so-immediae attention. I am hungry now. & my bed look so appetizing. Probably going to put myself out for a few hours. Then help my lovely mother cook after she reached home from work. & I still want to paint the living room!!! I am pestering parents to go buy the paint- today. By tonight. So tomorrow can start painting. 18 more days to go, damn it. My feet stinks, I don't know why really. I missed Suzanna. I kept thinking of her "anyhow". & there's a green motorbike and a green mini cooper below, parked in the tiny compartment space area. And it looks so lovely together. You don't know what I mean. Fine I am blabbering. I just have to much things to write :D

Oh yeah, going dinner with him tomorrow. Selamat Berbuka to all. & do mail dinner over here. Fed-ex.

NEUTRAL

2008-09-11T05:34:00.004+08:00

With every sentence, we hold on to another memory. With every love, we hold on to another person.

Things are back to normal now. And I promise everyone here & now that I wouldn't repeat yesterday night dissapearing act again. I know I got you guys searching and worried sick. I am sorry. But I had to do what I had to do. & I am glad I did.

I am fasting back. Today's the first, Back to being patient and patient. Had my lovely choco pops cereal meal for sahur. I drank lots and lots of milk. Just because I can. I had the most wonderful dream last night. And I woke up laughing till I spotted cramp cheeks. I ate fish burger too, I am scared I wouldn't last out today. Yesterday was a thorough waste of time in school. There was no lessons except maths, but the day went by like any other days. Sure lots of students did not attend school because the classmates taking o level prelim papers has to sit for theirs. So the class was basically near to empty- I spent time bonding off with bestfriends; Sha and Sheed Sheed:D

Yeah so that was how it goes all the way. I didn't get bored, not even once. Sat with Sheed during maths lesson, because my lovely maths partner skipped school for the day. The guys became my pengapit for the day. If ifaaa came, it would get more better. She's probably sleeping the day off at home :] Friends are planning on having a sleepover at Shikin house. & I have doubts if I can go.

BECAUSE

2008-09-09T15:06:00.006+08:00

But sometimes knowing is good enough.

I found a stray kitten yesterday. We were all pretty excited. It spent the whole afternoon with us in the Baxter box on level three. It was cold and lifeless when I check upon it this morning. And It left us nothing but memories of twenty-four hours ago.

- edit -

Finally, I gotten the flat-screen computer set from Naz. Thanks so much, transfers of files to new computer will be done soon. Right now, its sitting happily beneath my desk, waiting. My diy house-painting mission might be a possible project after all. Just have to buy the buckets of pain and after that Sara and I wear coats and climb walls and have wrist cramps and spotted paintcheeks. The rest will be history. But there's still much hesitation on parents part. But Sara and I had finally gotten back on track. & I guess all's well now.

SCHOOL TOMORROW

2008-09-07T18:10:00.005+08:00

Friendship is seeing all the different sides of a person, and loving their every single flaw.

I woke up today feeling like a part of me is missing. I am struggling. I'm a mess. I can't help feeling cheated, misused and just being a figure to be there by your side whenever you need me to. I want to be so much more. I want to be the shoulder you can lean upon, and be the ear you confide in. I am willing to share everything. I already had. At times, I shed tears because of you. For you. Somehow, somwhere something went wrong, but we were always ready to pick up the pieces. Together.

Fast-break was salvation. I sat at home doing tiring stuff & my latest Big idea is to renovate the house in three weeks. & renovate the house is renovate for real. Have to buy a new sofa set because dad was pissed by the current one. & I planned to paint. The whole house if necessary. My dad is too lazy for a new look so everyone is dependant on me for new furnishings of the entire living room. God help me. With revisions and three weeks later of Nlevels, its hardly possible for me to squeeze in painting in my busy scheldule slots. Well parents says diy living room- project still remains to be seen. If its happens happens; I won't hesitate to holla everyone up here. We will become painters for ... well how long it takes :D

Secondly, I think I am gaining weight. I have to go jogging and maybe cut down on my elephant eating ways. Mum has already started the "fasting month- lookout for Hidayah" However when she seems to cook to much for dinner, she encourages me to take second or third helpings. That really isn't helping when I can't fit into my lovely Baju Kurungs. & I dislike dinner- eatings recently. Maybe just because I am not hungry due to my not-fasting. I just, dislike.

My mum banana cake aroma is wafting around. Baking as hot as ever in the oven. Guess I will be the one who will take the first piece :) She is probably going to give half of the cake to the next-door neighbour anyway. Wonder what the next-door neighbour might give in return.. Ooooooooo. My mind is thinking of food, all the way. I can't help it really. I missed Hareez. & I missed my cousins. Just because. I want to go back to kampung. I want to row my sampan and run around bare-footed. I missed those meals where you have rice and fish everyday. & woke up every morning to the sound of the birds chirping. When it rains, its beautiful. & unlike here in Singapore, when you lay on the ground on wet grass, and stargazes, you will be able to see millions of diamonds. Like pearls.

& Hareez says the blinking big big one is always Venus. Shut up you pluto :D

HINDUSTAN MOVIE

2008-09-06T21:28:00.015+08:00

What you used to say when we were still young,

"We have all the time in the world, now."

How I wish you hadn't grown up that fast.

I went studying with bestfriend yesterday at Jurong East Library. Saw Rafaila & Zafirah there too. Had a great time :)

Planned for another day of studying today, with him temaning, but last minute canceled due to our ''carried away-ness''. So stayed at home & chill and help my lovely mother go renovate the house. Thats call my resting period. Hoohooo. In the afternoon watch hindustani movies with Nurul. A lot of feeling feeling part, and gelek gelek gelek scenes. Somebody like them man.. :D I spent the last two hours chatting on the phone - conference call- with Hareez, Shikin & cousins. They planned a whole lot of outings and buka outings and bbq outings and more and more and more. Of course many of them has to be put off after fasting month, during the Hari Raya celebrations. Currently eating yesterday pizzzzzzzzzza. Oooooh delicious :) My lovely mother has planned the family holiday trip for this October, November & December. Isn't it a little too fast? Euis, if you are reading this, I want to go out with you during school study leave- we go study together one fine day yeah? :) I adore Hareez for buying me caramel ice cream when I am most in need. Got me as high as the moon.

***

When you talk to him, either on the phone or through messages, I just want to say, I am not angry.

I am okay with it.

Unless if conversations steer- which of course I have no way of knowing- and topics focuses on me,

then thus I dislike it. To the extreme.

If any second you want to be me- be in my shoes,

Imagine me on the phone with _____________ . And then you realise how much you have been missing.

Cheerios.

AFTER ENGLISH N PAPER

2008-09-04T14:49:00.019+08:00

I am back. After a week of heavy red eyes, aching mugging, constant sneezing, and yeking pills.

With Bestfriend hilarious motivations and company recently,

I have the confidence that I can make it through this.,

I believe you can make it too :)

2 September 2008 is Bestfriends sick-day.

My memory box is full again. I am sorry. Instant messaging is definitely addictive. Phonecalls are waaaaay better.

Fasting month has started- four days ago. I reported what's on my menu for both sahur and buka. He did too.

3 subjects of my Nlevel papers has been done, finished and over. Relief, suckish, crappish and speechless.
Down with fever these few days. Was the worst days of my life. He made me feel a whole lot better. Like cake :)

Recently I don't have the mood to sit down for buka. Not even for delicious food.

Hareez, Yan, Shikin send over mee- goreng three hours ago. Foooo, pedaaaaaaaaaaas.

I went cycling today with Shikin and her sister, and we got into a little incident with monkeys.

I killed time by watching Hindustani Movies.

Tingkat tiga is the best place in the world. You get to dangle your smelly legs out the window,.

Noseblock currently; can't smell fresh- baked cupcakes.

Cik Mila bought me a Baju Kurung. Only its more beautiful than Baju Kurung. Thanks.

After this, I am going bed- bonding with the best katil in the world :D

26 More days to the Big Big day.

Study group with Hasif, Shahidah, Rasheed was definitely great :]

Rasheed & I tagged along on the trip to with Syakir, Fiza & Wawa to Geylang to watch the Fitri & Farrel thang.

He & I spend the time wandering off - just because.

TEACHERS DAY

2008-08-29T21:14:00.011+08:00

real happiness lies in making
those around you

happy.

I am having a bad stomach-ache right now. I think I ate too much _______. Suck to the core.

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!

- to all my darling primary school & secondary school ones. I just want to congratulate on how you guys manages to survive this long with out mental disabilities. :] Just last long and stay as teachers till I get married. Confirm I invite you all come makan free :D

Today school concert was very much hilarious plus plus awesome!!! I love Louise dance moves, so ohmygod. Faiz, Alif & co. band was pretty much maju too :D I like drums, and I like the songs. And I guess thats all? Mizah recorded most of them performance, upload here? I don't think so, because lazzzzzzy. After concert was Inter-class competitions, did not take part in any. I just don't have this class-outgoing mood anymore where we throw balls around and what for? I am going to say it outright, cause I don't give a shitt. & that is people in my class are biased. Biased- lame assos.

Yesterday I had lunch with the bunch of crankzos. They were super hilarious :D Hakiim, Firdaus, Khairul, Faiz, Syakir, Fiza, Rasheed & I. Wasn't what I quite expected, didn't feel akward much. After all he did invited me :D Had much fun, I don't know, table conversation wise, was alright, Faiz kept laughing and throwing this 'thing' around. Hahaha. Boys will be boys :] Took si mummy painting at Beauty World afterwards, and the whole crew accompanied. In the end it was him who carried it all-the-way. So sorry tao. Companied Khairul cut his newspaper-hairstyle [ ronaldo style ] and Syakir cut his very much longish hair too. Wax or gel? :]

But most of all, I had the most awesomest day. Thanks people. & of course Bestfriend :)

25th December 2008

THURSDAY

2008-08-27T19:55:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, all you need is a good friend to bring the color back to you.

In less than a week, I will be sitting for my N level paper. Having those mixed feelings where you just want to book a flight out of Singapore and come back a year later & realised the world has move on without you. Next year, I will be somewhere, maybe some place different, I don't know. I hoped not. Cause I will seriously seriously missed best buddies, and humongous memories I had with these beroks :D

I want to stay; & I am changing my future, starting right now!!!!

Two maths paper are demanding my attention. I am verrrrrry lazy. I pick up the telephone and dial dial dial. Then someone picked up, I made some funny noise and hanged up in less than two seconds. I am boreeeeeeed. I eat 3 meals altogether today, later he say I gedeeeeeeek. But I don't care. I have heartpains and more pain eyes just looking at the stack of revision papers I had to clear and the thought of having to sit my butt in the chair for more than two hours straight to study reaaaaaaaally drains me. I need my 24 hours sleep real badly, my bed and my head says so. My phone needs rests too. I didn't off it for over a month. My feet stink, because. I broke my favourite cup, again. I lost my yellow nail clipper and found it inside my brother gaming set. My school shoes & schoolbag are still damp from today ten-minute walk in the rain with girlfriends.

My fist hurts from hitting Shahidah shoulder much. My throat hurts from screaming. My cheeks hurts from laughing too much.

The blanknes of the page is like a hurt.

I write your name on the paper to put you back into my life.

As though words were real things.

As though when i write your name you are here.

-Only say the word by niall williams

BACK FROM BATAM

2008-08-26T16:41:00.008+08:00

Currently raining heavily outside- its a verrrrry great time to snuggle in bed :]

Going to rest soon; but update first yeah. Weekend has definitely been fantabulous. Because family & cousins went Batam for a one and a half-day holiday! Was greeeeeeaaaat! I ate a whole lot there; bakso was top on the list & the donuts [ fuyooooooo ] I get to play pool with my now- favourite uncle Cik Ahmad. Hahaha. I scored much, just can't wait to play it in Singapore :D Left Singapore on a Saturday morning; reached home late night on Sunday. Spent the weekend at the hotel where we went shopping every chance we can. Money ran out fast, mom says we are billionaires there when we change the currency rate money, so unbelievable. Well those stuff are frigging cheap, I think I jumped around with Nina and the kids. Took a lot of pictures, but the thing is can't transfer. Hate hate hate. & as for McDonald breakfast; it was rice, chicken and chicken? So Sedaaaaap. hahaha, very different from the usual Big Breakfast & Pancakes :]

Mat Batams was so effing hot. Not looking- But I just can't help it. Well they are for Wawa anyway :D

& HAPPY BELATED 16TH BIRTHDAY RAMIZAH :D
Hoped you love love loveeeeeee the chocolate-strawberries brownies that I sent you. Well at your home busstop, & I terlajak one stop- paiseh :D thanks for the crap talks- the potek whatnot. Love you much dude " Papastic!! " & yeah it was a waste he didn't answer the phonecalls. Pretty upset you know.

Yesterday was the start of mock exams, stress starts and killer migranes attacks. Freaking pissed off and I went to school with a big black cloud atop my head. :{ Kept silent most of the time, didn't have much mood. School School School later, bestfriend meet me under the block, gave him his one dozen donuts. I have fulfil my part of the deal! I remembered- I laughed so much, & I practically had to push you to board the bus quickly. So I guess right now we are both tired- having just 3 hours for vunderful sleep :] I had much fun today, super high every single moment with darlings and lovelys. Maybe this is what I needed, just because.

I am so sorry- but you are that addictive.

FAIZ BDAE

2008-08-22T17:44:00.009+08:00

I am all the days that you choose to ignore.

First & for most; I would like to wish Faiz a Happy 16th Birthday :D Can't believe our darling boy from 4na sejiwa group turned one year older. Old old old! But I guess with that face, he will still be forever young to me. :D Mizah & Marco bought the cake yesterday, and today 4na celebrated his surprised birthday bash during recess at basketball court. Was fantastic; and pictures [ which I don't have with me now] will be uploaded as soon as possible. That is if only Mizah senddddd through msn :]

All in all; school today was really gila gila kecho kechoooooooooo/. I smiled a whole lot. Maybe laughed a little too loudly. Who cares? Currently packing for my weekend holiday with family & cousins. To Kampung & Batam. Shipping out on ferri timing; 10am and will be back home by Sunday. Many hugs and kisses. Oh yeah, I will so kirim salam the mat batam for Wawa alright :)

I was sick yesterday, and I cut school & went home with Miss Koe permission. Coincindentally, Wawa was also sick, so we did went home together. Pretty amazed by the timing though. We were on our way home, together, at 11.10am! I had much fun you know, chatting and laughing and joking and and teasing :D She alighted at Caltex with me, bought O Changkee!!! She belanja me one epok epok. So sedapppppp. Then we laughed and talked again. I think it was the best best best moment. So I teman her take the bus from the busstop, went home, showered with hot water [hoooooooot ] & then crash on the best bed in the world. & before sleeping like the dead for 8 hours straight, bestfriend messaged. Real hilarious.

Had cramps, in the evening. From laughing too much.

That is a speciality, of course.

WEDNESDAY

2008-08-20T21:55:00.008+08:00

You are my angel

You are my saint.

Got back them results. Not all; only History, Maths, English, Malay & Sciences. & I am glad to say, I improved in certain subjects such as Sciences? :D I guess that's all. The rest; standard marks. Sorry to say my maths did not make it in the long haul. I am gathering people to come teach teach teach me mathematics. I am going to survive, like them guys says, its not too late to work extra strong. Its just a matter of willing and unwilling. After all, its just prelim. Anything can happen in one month right.

Oh oh like a Miracle? :]

Hareez made me a schedule. & he pasted it right on the wall " easier for you to remember me". & it talks, studies, revisions, sports & computer hour usage. Before parents sees the horrifying sketch, going to take a bulldozer to it & tear it down. Well, maybe I am going to keep it for awhile.. Because it so damn bloody genius!!!

I am bloody having a bloody aching migrane, and godf help me, I am getting unescessary texts messages and phonecalls from someone I have been expecting not to return and wedge its haughty little presence into my tiny tiny peaceful life. Having enough drama lately, with screamings, & laughters in school. Karthi please show me some decency. & privacy as well while you are at it. Its really embarassing =.=

Shahidah, I don't want nonsensical vibe gestures and 'knowing' smiles anymore. He can read through the lines, I tell you. Not that there is anything between the lines mind you... oops ( :D )

Mich & I went jogging this afternoon for around an hour where we kilowatt till the outskirts of Bukit Gombak & Hillview Avenue :] Headphones and nike shoes all the way.

Naz, I was at your place! Oh oh oh & we sat at the monkey infested area, Little Guilin- Nature Park- , and we talked many many things. What fun. We do really have to go again one day, but be back home before magrib yeah. Hoho. Legging cramps; so where's bestfriend when I need him? Teleporting now-

Being too curious really does has its advantages :)

MONDAY NO SCHOOL

2008-08-18T20:39:00.009+08:00

Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run.

My head hurts and my eyesight kept dividing itself into two figures. That is abnormal; understatement. Currently having migrane attacks and such, feeling kind of puky and I want my bed badly. Real badly so to sufficed. My inbox memory is full; so people if you need anything or having urgent matters or such, do have the patience to pick up the phone & dial my number :]

Yesterday was a Sunday, whereby I went Madrasah despite my original intentions to truant with bestfriend at Rocks. :D So unexpectedly, there wasn't any lessons so classes were canceled. Instead we all went helping out cleaning the masjid. What fun it turned out to be in the end. Wiping windowpanes and glasses; If only my mom could see me. Definitely awesome. Had group to group talk where Hajar finally got bored and reduced to getting attention by boxing everyone knees. & thus before we went home, Uztazah forced us to get some food from the banquet table, which of course we all happily obliged. The guys took many many many plates, living up to their names as usual. There was mee goreng, sup tulang, kuih bakar, kuih boyan with lots of sambal ;] yum yum! I think I did took a second helping for everything. Cause its breakfast. Regret later on because I was so bloated to walk.

Today however, there wasn't any school for me and some people. Cause we weren't taking express mathematics. So woked up pretty late, slacked at home and imming bestfriend for awhile. So Shasha came over after her maths paper, and she taught me some skills :] which of course is much appreciated. Then I got a surprise from who-else. Super super super terribly nice & shasha was there to witnessed every single detail. So she will be a reminder and a pinch to my arm that 1 minute was not a dream.

Definitely too good to be true.

Went cycling with Shikin & Hareez. Roads were wet and we took long drives slow & steady. Hareez skidded 45 minutes into the drill and earned two bruises down his calf. We took a break and continued; this time without Hareez. That mama boy has to take a rest after a fall right :] When arms got too tired and mind screams for a break we finally stopped, grabbed a waffle and went back. Migrane attacks; laid down on the pavement and mama boy has to do much to prevent me from being run over by cyclists. Hilarious.

Hot showers later, back home with cramp nerves.
Killing pains with delicious chocolates :]

SATURDAY WITH B

2008-08-16T22:40:00.003+08:00

And we collapse on a road.

On an old dirt road, where the sun doesn’t look like such a waste.

And we fall asleep, under leaves of a couple of them nearby trees.

And we never wake again.

-Electric President

My prelims finally ended. It was terribly pure blissful. Reached home around 11 plus am and lights out straight till dinner. Woked up feeling dizzed but managed to stay strong and watched Nacho Libre, The Messengers & 28 Weeks Later with sister. So we both stayed up till after midnight until parents reached home from their outing. So having slept the whole afternoon; I had nothing to do besides reading a novel. & thus when boredom strikes, it was him & long conversations :]

But eventually he knockout first; which was unlike any other situation encountered.

So today; relatively my saturday was filled with dozens of laughters and vunderful stories. Of course with bestfriend again :D Bumped into a friend, and the situation was... akward much :] Neverthless, I had great fun and this time; reached home quite close to curfew. So indeed, he owns a concession pass. So I am pretty glad he did what he did :] relieved actually. I think we will do this every saturday, that's a deal, at least for now. Bzzzzzz.

ART PAPER TOMORROW

2008-08-14T17:10:00.008+08:00

Hello people. I am back, & I don't feel good. Currently having a hangover, results from lack of sleep. I am too sick and tired to think straight. Tomorrow the last prelim paper, which is art. Researching for details now, so taking a break. Blogging baby. Haven't touch the computer in _______ days. I can go crazy any minute, this I promise you. Because I am so fucking stressed up. I think I am going to fail certain subjects and there goes my prelims points., I am desperately on the verge of heckcaring everything; plainly just giving up. But I promised bestfriend and finally he convinced me that it wasn't the right choice that should be made. So I am having late nights and panda eyes studying throughout this whole week; and he teman me all the way, cause of course he & his bestfriend kecik main guli :]

I finally finally finished the damn n level batik!

I screamed myself hoarse after it was all handed up.

Super Super feeling.

& yeah, Wawa & I went movie-watching last Friday; I guess so? :D At Cineleisure Orchard. Watched Dark Knight! & Of course Mummy! She belanje for one of the movies :] Fabulous okay you. Next time is my turn. Since I can neither click nor save the picture on her entry post; yall go view it at her site./ Had so much fun fun fun :D Camwhoring and movie-madness. Reached home around 10 plus I guess? Then I went home to a ship-wrecked home where there are clothes everywhere. 10 big bags full of clothes and skirts and trousers. -.- Because mother got it from a friend who doesn't need them anymore. Many many were so brand new, mind you. So yeah, ask wa to come choose clothes on Sunday. Had so much fun. With Aida terrorising her around with __________. Apparently she loves your screaming & shrilling :]

I got threatened by someone yesterday. I don't fucking care, for you & your attitude.

So tak perlu lah sial.

WEDNESDAY

2008-08-06T18:27:00.011+08:00

People are starting to realise that my link has changed and thus, text messages and questions begin. Changed it for certain reasons; because somebody has been viewing page by page and use resourceful information to spread out vicious rumors. Firdaus, if you are reading this, [ if you get the new link page of course ] I just want to let you know how much of a fcuking farktard two-pied face I think you are. Its so flattering to have me know that all you meant to do was help. I know who that bitch is & fcuk you and her altogether. I have no need of both your interference. Proves what a bottom-shoe friend you guys turned out to be. So thank you & goodbye.

I love Sharifah Adilla. I have no idea why. Maybe just because her high-pitched screams seems to be so effective in making everyone deaf. :D HooHoo. I so enjoyed History lesson today too. For the first time in my life, I heckcare all the way. & I am here, if you want to talk to alright baby. Don't be sad. Smile smile smile all the way, just because you can :]

Bye Mrs faggly arms.

I am here; with muscle arms.

Come ah, challen!

Hareez bought me Jersey! Soccer Jersey! Yay yay yay! Its greeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

Goes with the white nike shoes at the back of the closet.

I miss my owl comercial. ; Ow. Hit my head again. _________________________________.

I still don't really know what to say. You looked at me with those deep deep eyes and what could I say really. What else is there to say at this point but wait until the night time and whisper to each other what our favorite things are.

And you said

your eyelashes

I'm _________ to the most wonderful man in the universe.

What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?